"Love Ya" Awards

I have received the "Love Ya" Award from fellow blogger Kirsten from The Soccer Mom Files. It's always such an honor when you are recognized for your efforts. Thank you, Kirsten!

Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers!

Deliver this award to eight bloggers who can choose eight more and include this text into the body of their award.

I would like to pass this on to some of my blogger friends:

Retro:Kimmer
Identity Check
Busy Lizzy's Easle
Loving Innocence
W-Women Globally
A Little Piece of Me
The Melindaville Blog
Chaotically Calm

Love Ya, Babe!

Wacky Wednesday! - Japan's Human Art

Quotable: George Carlin

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards. NAIVE
2. OK... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", what does that make the Tennessee Titans ?
3. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
4. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
5. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
6. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in . . .what happens to the other penny?
7. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
8. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
9. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
10. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
11. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
12. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
13. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they're cramming for their final exam.
14. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
15. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

Zombie Oscars, The Envelope Please...

Dysfunctional Family Letter Generator

If you are from a dysfunctional family, you have either received or wanted to write a letter like the sample below.

Don't waste any more of your valuable time digging deep into the depths of your soul to tell your family off. Instead, let the generator do all the hard work for you. You just sit back, take a load off.

Click here to be taken to the generator that gives you many appropriate choices to "fill in the blanks".

Dear Evil Twin,

I just wanted to let you know that you have completely ruined my life. If you had a clue you would be dangerous. I have had it up to here because you have lied to me one too many times. I have always looked the other way, which makes me uncompassionate and unsympathetic. 

This time you have taken your psycho bitchiness to the next level. 

I have never shirked my responsibility to tell you that you are full of shit. You would be so much better off if you would just lay off of the drugs. You must be the product of inbreeding. You are EVIL! It is time for you to get off your pity pot. Let this also serve as notice that all future visits have been cancelled as I have to stay home and feed the cat. 

Drop dead you waste of space, 

The Good Twin

PS: Please do not reply back, I want NO explanations. I need time to forget that you ever existed.

Illusion: Einstein or Marilyn Monroe

This is an amazing illusion. 

Close up, you'll see Albert Einstein.  Now, back away from your computer approximately 16 feet and Marilyn Monroe will magically appear.  Enjoy! 

Wacky Wednesday! - Scientology

Joke: "What Is Politics?"

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well, son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. "We'll consider the nanny as the Working Class," he went on. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense."

So the little boy goes to bed thinking about what dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in Deep Shit."

The 3 Stooges: Pie Fight

ThreeStooges.com

Employment Wanted

Former Marijuana Smuggler

Having successfully completed a 10-year sentence, incident free, for importing 75 tons of marijuana into the United States, I am now seeking a legal and legitimate means to support myself and my family.

Business experience: Owned and operated a successful fishing business -- multi-vessel, one airplane, one island and processing facility. Simultaneously owned and operated a fleet of tractor-trailer trucks conducting business in the western United States.... I also participated in the executive level management of 120 people worldwide in a successful pot-smuggling venture with revenues in excess of $100-million US annually. I took responsibility for my own actions and received a 10-year sentence in the United States while others walk free for their cooperation.

Attributes: I am an expert in all levels of security; I have extensive computer skills, am personable, outgoing, well educated, reliable, clean and sober. I have spoken in schools to thousands of kids and parent groups over the past ten years on the “consequences of choice”, and received public recognition from the RCMP for community service. I am well traveled and speak English, French and Spanish. References available from friends, family and the U.S. District Attorney, etc.

Please direct replies to
Box 375, National Post, Classified
1450 Don Mills, ON, M3B 3R5

This is an actual classified ad as it appeared in The Financial Post in Toronto, Canada, February 23, 2001. The employment seeker received over 600 responses.

3 Cool & Crazy Valentine Generators

Happy Valentine's Day!

Click on photos to generate and send your funny Valentine.

Wacky Wednesday! - Amazing Guitarist

The Retirement Village People

Charlie, there's no need to feel down
I said Charlie, pick yourself off the ground
I say Charlie, we're gonna be there with you
There's no need to be unhappy

Charlie, there's still plenty to do
I said Charlie, going downhill's fun too
I say Charlie, you can do what you please
They say life begins at fifty

Chorus:
It's time to join in the A.A.R.P.
We'll all be joinin' the A.A.R.P.
Charlie don't make a fuss
You can hang out with us
At the senior community

A.A.R.P.
We'll all be joinin' the A.A.R.P.
There's no reason to wait
For the senior rate
And you'll be in good company

Charlie, start a rock and roll band
Woodstock nation, go and live off the land
I say Charlie, it's time to buy that red porche
You can have a mid-life crisis

Charlie, you're not over the hill
I said Charlie, they've come up with a pill
It's a marvel, it will cure everything
That don't work quite like it used to

(Chorus)

Kid Overdosed At Dentist's Office

Interactive Quiz: Valentine's Day

Find out if your sweetheart is a douchebag LiquidGeneration.com!

Quotable: Hunter S. Thompson

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

There is nothing more helpless and irresponsible than a man in the depths of an ether binge.

The person who doesn't scatter the morning dew will not comb gray hairs

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side.

The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.

Politics is the art of controlling your environment.

It was the Law of the Sea, they said. Civilization ends at the waterline. Beyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top.

In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity.

If you're going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you're going to be locked up.

I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.

I feel the same way about disco as I do about herpes.

Going to trial with a lawyer who considers your whole life-style a “Crime in Progress” is not a happy prospect.

For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.

America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.

Some may never live, but the crazy never die.

Wacky Wednesday! - Spy vs. Spy

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Her Morning Elegance

Truly a departure from my unusal humorous finds, please enjoy the special effects in this wonderful music video.

Music by Oren Lavie
Directed by Oren Lavie, Yuval & Merav Nathan

Obama: The First 100 Minutes

Click poster for larger view