Report Card Daze

Not that I was ever a "bad" student, but there were those times during my grade school years that I absolutely dreaded taking home my report card. It wasn't the grades that made me consider running away from home just to escape "the look" I would get from my parents, it was those damn comments the teachers would include.

I mean, I could always explain away an unacceptable grade, but trying to explain those remarks on the back of my report card was a tough sell. Then I got a load of these actual comments from a New York school system and thought, "Me-Me is a daydreamer and is not working at her full potential due talking out of turn and wandering around the classroom at inappropriate times" wasn't so bad.

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

7. This child has been working with glue too much.

8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

11. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

"Caption This!" No. 8: The Winner Is.....

It's just another manic Monday.....

Here we are again, folks. It's Monday! Before I announce the "Caption This!" winner, here are today's "On This Day In History" events.

1776 - The Virginia state constitution was adopted.

1967 - Actress Jane Mansfield died at age 34.

1972 - The Supreme Court ruled the death penalty could constitute "cruel and unusual punishment".

2003 - Actress Katherine Hepburn died at age 96.

2007 - The first iPhones went on sale.

Now, let's get on with the show.....

According to The Impartial Panel of Three, this was really tough. In fact, they almost came to blows before reaching their decision. This installment's most-honorable mentions are Chris @ Maugeritaville, Moooooog, Chickenista and Wolfgang. Congratulations!

The envelope please.....

The winning caption for Me-Me's Playhouse: Caption This! No. 8 is a man that has so much time on his hands that he has not one, but two hilarious blogs. Stand up and take a bow Joel Klebanoff, you are the winning author! Please click over and visit Joel over at Stuff & Nonsense or at Shalampax for more hilarity. Joel takes home The Golden Phallus and 500 EC credits.....congratulations!!!

Thank you all for participating and I hope to see you here again!

"Does my butt make this outfit look phat?"

Many Rivers To Cross: A Tribute

Rest In Peace.....

Ed McMahon
1923-2009

Farrah Fawcett
1947-2009

Michael Jackson
1958-2009

Billy Mays
1958-2009

Consumer Review

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Pop on over to Me-Me's Playhouse for another exciting installment of "Caption This!" and a chance to win some coveted and valued prizes!

Me-Me's Playhouse: Caption This! No. 8

Wow, it's Friday.....already? You know what this means. It's time for another installment of "Caption This!" This week's photo comes to you from that little 'ol festival in Nevada, Burning Man.

Here's the drill.....

You have until midnight Sunday to enter as many captions as you like. The Impartial Panel of Three will hand down their decisions on Monday. The author of the winning caption takes home The Golden Phallus and 500 EC credits.

Good luck! 

Click the photo for a much closer look...yeow!

Stupid Human Tricks

I thought I'd give a little break today with a few brain teasers that just may blow your mind. Sit back, take a deep breath and enjoy!

Don't give up!!!

1. While sitting at your desk, raise you right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles with it.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction and there's nothing you can do about it no matter how many times you try.

I told you so!!!

Moo!!!

Wacky Wednesday! - Absurd Inventions

Last night I "StumbledUpon" this great site of absurdity and thought it appropriate for Wacky Wednesday! Totally Absurd Inventions has an extensive list of American's goofiest patents. Below is just a couple of the actual patents that are listed. For hours of fun, you might want to bookmark this site. And, yes, these are for real! 

ANTI-EATING MOUTH CAGE - US Patent Issued 1982

The holidays are a time to celebrate (there's a holiday coming up soon somewhere in the world every week). And you know what the holidays mean... Eat! Feast! Food! The holidays just wouldn't be the same without a little overindulgence in the chow arena, but overeating leads to health problems and our inventor says that it's a foregone conclusion that chefs, housewives that cook and restaurant employees who are constantly subjected to food will overeat their way into obesity. His solution? The Anti-Eating Mouth Cage!  

The Mouth Cage is designed to allow you to breath and speak but not eat due to the food barrier that's mounted on your face. Just in case you are temped by that perfect pie that's calling out to you, the Mouth Cage is actually locked onto your head, so you can't cheat the system. We don't know about you, be we're thinking it's just a little too creepy to have Mom and our favorite restaurant staff smiling from behind their own little personal mouth jails. Guess it's time for some fava beans and a nice Chianti. 

DAD SADDLE - US Patent Issued 2002

Yee haw, giddyup! Strollers are fine for tiny tykes but larger kids need their own modus operandi for freeloading a ride.  We think this kid is way to big to not be hoofing it on his own... but hey, maybe they're watching a parade.   

The Dad Saddle slips around Daddio's waist and evenly distributes the weight load on his hips for maximum comfort. We want to know where the reins are for steering this steed and we highly recommend no spurs!

Click here for more goofy patents.

Excuse Me, Am I Annoying You?

Is there someone that just annoys the hell out of you? Maybe a co-worker, a neighbor, a relative or a perfect stranger? Well, my friends, it's time for revenge. Today I'm giving you the ammunition to fight back.

1. Never make eye contact.

2. Never break eye contact. 

3. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy".

4. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think".

5. Signal a conversation is over by clamping your hands to your ears.

6. Follow a few paces behind someone and spray everything they touch with Lysol.

7. While traveling in the right lane, leave your left turn signal on.

8. Honk and wave at strangers.

9. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

10. only type in lowercase.

11. dont use any punctuation either

12. Tie jingle bells to you clothes.

13. Wear your pants backwards.

14. Pretend your computer mouse is a CB radio and talk into it.

15. Stand over someone's shoulder and mumble as they read.

16. Ask people what gender they are.

17. Beep when a large person backs up.

18. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at cars passing by to see if they slow down.

19. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

20. Leave your favorite annoyance below.

"Caption This" No. 7: The Winner Is.....

I hope everyone had a great weekend and your time was spent with friends and family. We'll get to this week's winner of Me-Me's Playhouse: "Caption This!" after a few "On This Day In History" events.

1. 1941 - Germany invaded the Soviet Union during WWII.

2. 1954 - Actor/Comedian Freddie Prinze was born.

3. 1981 - Mark David Chapman pleaded guilty to killing John Lennon.

4. 1992 - The Supreme Court unanimously that hate-crime laws that ban cross-burning and similar expressions of racial bias violate free-speech rights.

5. 2008 - Comedian George Carlin died at age 71.

Now, on with the festivities.....

The Impartial Panel of Three have handed down their decisions. Those receiving most-honorable mentions for "Caption This!" No. 7 are: Chris, nonamedufus, Lola, Kirsten and Philip Dyer. Thank you everyone for submitting your captions and I hope to see you here again this Friday for another installment.

The envelope please..... 

The author of the winning caption is Raymond Betancourt! Be sure to visit Raymond over at The Drive-By Blogger or at Twisted for some more laughs. Raymond takes home The Golden Phallus and 500 EC credits. Congratulations!!!

"eHarmony.com.....it really works."

Father's Day Tribute

Happy Father's Day!

Flyin' High

I'm a winner! I won the caption contest over at The Soccer Mom Files and was presented the coveted "Mom Likes Me Best!" award. 

Thank you, Kirsten! 

And, if you like captioning as much as I do, be sure to pop over to Me-Me's Playhouse: "Caption This!" and enter your best captions before mid-night Sunday. You are vying for The Golden Phallus plus 500 EC credits. 

Here's a Saturday chuckle for you.....

We're All Gonna Die

Two blind pilots both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.

Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming.

The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport. As it begins to look as though the plane will plough in to the water, panicked screams fill the cabin. At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.

In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says,"ya know, Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."

Me-Me's Playhouse: Caption This! No. 7

I would like to thank everyone who joined me for my segment of the Humor Bloggers Dot Com Virtual Road Trip. Oh, you missed it? Well, click here.

Please join VE today as our trip continues.

Yes, it's that time again!

Time for another installment of Me-Me's Playhouse: "Caption This!" For those playing for the first time, the rules are simple. Take a look at the photo below, add as many clever and creative captions you can think of until mid-night Sunday.

And, what do we have for the winner?

The winning author of the caption selected by The Impartial Panel of Three will take home the lovely Golden Phallus and 500 EntreCard credits. So, be sure to check back here on Monday for the award presentation. 

Good luck!

 

Virtual Road Trip: Phoenix Day 2

Good morning! I realize it's a bit early, but I promise you a full day of beauty and adventure. For those of you joining us on for the first time on the Humor Bloggers Virtual Road Trip, click here to catch up with the tour. Oh, and be sure to click on the links and photos for an in-depth look. 

Everyone on the bus? We've got a lot of territory to cover!

Today we are leaving the city and heading to the beautiful high-country of Arizona. The bus can only take us so far, so we're pulling over to switch our mode of travel, a Hummer caravan. This caravan will take us to our first few destinations.

Let's start the day by experiencing a real cowboy chuck wagon breakfast. Jeb and Zac have prepared us a wonderful meal here in the great outdoors: bacon, eggs, beans, biscuits and gravy and, of course, there's plenty of coffee and fresh squeezed orange juice. Pull up a boulder, take in the canyon scenery and enjoy the feast. 

 

Beano, anyone?

Now, back to the Hummers for our off-road adventure. We'll be climbing and winding our way through the canyons to an area that was once very important to Arizona gold mining, Crown King. A now-living ghost town, Crown King is situated in the Bradshaw Mountains and is surrounded by the Prescott National Forest which is 1.25 million acres of government land. The largest stand of Ponderosa pine on the planet starts here and for runs hundreds of miles. 

Hold on, everyone, this could be a treacherous ride!

I hope you folks don't mind taking the back roads this morning, but you'd miss this breath taking scenery from the freeway. Just an hour or so away we will be merging with the Mother Road, Route 66. This will take us to our next stop, Williams - the gateway to the Grand Canyon.

Here we are at the Grand Canyon Railway station. We'll be boarding the train real soon that will take us on a delightful 2-hour ride up to the Grand Canyon. Our champagne lunch will be severed in the dining car. There is an aspect of danger though! Remember how I suggested that you brush up on your skills at the shooting range yesterday? Well, the train we're riding today is a bait train, there's a likelihood that we may be robbed (watch it here). 

Hold on to your valuables and your virtue, these outlaws can be pretty rough!

Is everyone okay?

The train is slowing this time because we've arrived at our destination, the Grand Canyon National Park. Everyone, please choose a buddy for this segment of the tour. This steep gorge was carved by the Colorado River. It is 277 miles long and ranges in width from four to 18 miles with a depth of a mile. Isn't it beautiful? I've arranged for a guide to take us to a couple of the points of interest including the new Skywalk where you actually walk out over the canyon for a view 4,000 feet below. After we finish watching the IMAX film at the National Geographic center, we'll hop back on the bus for the last destination of our tour. 

Head count!

Our tour will end with one more spectacular site, Hoover Dam which sits on the border of Arizona and Nevada. We'll take a brief tour where we'll learn a lot of dam facts. Plus there's a dam gift shop where you'll find dam keychains, dam coffee mugs, dam bumper stickers and just about any-dam-thing you'd want.

Dam it!

Just 30 miles away is Las Vegas, baby! I'm going to leave you here so you can make your connection for the next leg of the trip. For the time you are here you can freshen up, have dinner on the strip, take in a show or try your luck at the tables.   

Thank you all for being a part of of the Humor Bloggers Virtual Road Trip, I do hope you enjoyed your time in Arizona. It's been my pleasure to host this portion of the trip and do come back to visit anytime.

VE will be your host for the next segment of the trip, I'm sure he has made many wonderful plans for you while in Oregon.

Adios!

MadMadMargo

Virtual Road Trip: Phoenix Day 1

Welcome to Phoenix, Arizona!!!

I am your host for this segment of The Virtual Road Trip. This trip across North America, and later across the big pond, is being brought to you by Humor Bloggers Dot Com. During our tour, please take the time to click the links for additional information and also click the photos for a closer look - I don't want you to miss a thing.

I trust you are finding your accommodations suitable here at the Wigwam Golf Resort and Spa. For those that would like to get in 9 holes this morning, I'm sure you'll find one of the three championship courses to your liking. And, for those that would prefer to relax in the plush surroundings of the 26,000 square feet spa, your massage will prepare you for our busy day ahead. 

Woo hoo, it's time to head 'em up and move 'em out little doggies. That's cowboy talk for "get on the bus, damn it". We're expecting the temperature to reach 100 degrees today. So, please keep yourself hydrated and be sure to wear sunscreen. 

Oh, Frank, ummmm...I dunno, long black socks with sandals?

Our first stop this morning is the Heard Museum. I never tire of visiting the Heard. This unique museum houses over 32,000 pieces of cultural and American Indian fine art. The Heard also hosts a number of events and festivals throughout the year such as the World Championship Hoop Dancing. This is a thrilling and colorful event; it's definitely a don't miss it if you find yourself back in this area next February.

Okay, for you sports enthusiasts, our next stop is the Chase Field ballpark, home of the 2001 World Series champions, the Arizona Diamondbacks.  The retractable roof is an awesome feature unique to this ballpark and allows for comfort regardless of the weather. Unfortunately, the D'backs are playing in Kansas City tonight, but we can watch the game on the big screen later this evening if you like. We Arizonans love our baseball!

Rambler, now THIS is the big league!

Anyone hungry? There's a taco stand not too far from the ballpark that I know you'll enjoy. You'll find a variety of south of the border treats here.  Carne asada (beef), carnitas (pork), fresh salsa and a refreshing rice water drink called "horchata". These are some of the local favorites on the menu. And, of course, there's plenty of ice cold Mexican beer. Grab a curbside table and take in the scenery. 

Now, where's Da Old Man? C'mon, pick up the shuffle, the bus is leaving!

I think a nice way to work off our lunch is with a leisurely stroll through the Desert Botanical Garden. Nestled in the red buttes of Papago Park, this 50-acre garden has one of the world's finest collections of desert plants. Don't worry, this stop isn't all about cacti, I've arranged to jazz things up a bit. There's a small pavilion at the end of one the trails where a jazz trio and dessert is waiting our arrival. Ahhh, can it get much better than this?    

Yes, Etta, there are more gift shops to come!

Our next destination is for the thrill seekers. We are going to make a quick stop at one of Phoenix's amusement parks, Castle N' Coasters. There are a number of roller coasters, water rides, miniature golf and carnival type games. I suggest you brush up on your skills at the shooting range, this might come in handy later in the trip.

Brookeamanda, you're looking a bit water-logged. Enjoyed yourself did ya?

Can I get a show of hands? How many were aware that architect Frank Lloyd Wright had a project here in Arizona? It's called Taliesin West which is located in the foothills of the McDowell Mountains and surrounded by the beautiful Sonoran Desert. This sprawling complex houses the FLW Foundation and the FLW School of Architecture. Our guide will give us all the fascinating facts of this living memorial to one of the greatest American icons.

Ready for our final stop of the day, Reforming Geek?

We are heading out to Pinnacle Peak Patio for a cowboy cookout and fiesta. I've reserved us a private spot on the desert to enjoy one of the fine steaks at this world's largest steakhouse. We will first be entertained by a Mariachi band and folklorico dancers. Then, for those that would like to strut your stuff on the dance floor, a cowboy band will finish tonight's line-up of entertainment.

Ladies and gentlemen, this concludes day one of our tour in Phoenix. When you arrive back at the resort, please take advantage of some of the amenities offered by this fine establishment. But, I do suggest you try to make it to bed early, we leave for some grand destinations very early in the morning.

I bid you a good-night.

MadMadMargo

Click here for day two.

Such Is Life.....

1. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the "escape" key.

2. Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown. BUT, it takes only four muscles to extend your arm and smack that asshole upside the head.

3. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

4. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from mental illness. Think of your three best friends - if they're okay, then it's you.

5. The easiest way of finding something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

6. Some people are like Slinkies.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but giggle when you see one tumble down the stairs.

7. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

8. In the 60's people took acid to make the world look weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make the world look normal.

9. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away and you have their shoes. 

11. Just remember.....if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.  

Tomorrow: Put on your cowboy boots, saddle up and join me for my leg of the journey - Humor Bloggers Dot Com Virtual Road Trip - Phoenix, AZ.

"Caption This" No. 6: The Winner Is.....

Monday, Monday, can't trust that day

Monday, Monday, sometimes it just turns out that way

I have a few "One This Day In History" events to share with you before I get to the winning caption for Me-Me's Playhouse: "Caption This!" No. 6. 

Salute!

1. 1836 - Arkansas became the 25th state.

2. 1932 - Former governor Mario Cuomo was born.

3. 1969 - The variety show Hee Haw premiered on CBS.

4. 1992 - Vice-President Dan Quayle erroneously  instructed a Trenton, NJ elementary school student to spell potato as "potatoe" during a spelling bee.

5. 1996 - Singer Ella Fitzgerald dies at age 78.  

Now, on with the show.....

Wow, The Impartial Panel of Three came back to me very early this morning with the winning caption. Joel F, one of the illustrious panel members, gave me the run down of those deserving a most-honorable mention, they are: Joel K, Bonnie Story, Winky Tinky, nonamedufus and Chris. Congratulations! I hope everyone will join me again this Friday for another hilarious installment of Me-Me's Playhouse: "Caption This!" It'll be fun!  

May I have the envelope please..... 

The winning author taking home The Golden Phallus and 500 EntreCard credits for "Caption This!" No. 6 is Haley over at Talk of the Dog. Be sure to pop over to get her views from the perspective as a 10-yr. old mix-breed dog. If you're into humor, you'll definitely enjoy her blog. Congratulations, Haley! 

"Billy Elliot - the war years."

Rising To The Occasion

Look at that!

Okay, boys, that was a pretty amazing trick. We are all impressed by the amount of pressure that runs through your hoses. But while you had your hoses out, you failed to notice the blazing flames burning out of control right behind you. 

Oops!

Just a reminder.....

Yes, there's still time for you to submit your captions over at Me-Me's Playhouse. Hurry, the contest ends at midnight for those seeking The Golden Phallus and 500 EC credits.

Doctor, Doctor, Gimme The News

As we age, most of us will grow concerned with our health and will try to make healthier choices so we might squeeze out an extra year or two. After reading this interview, I discovered that I've been going about it all wrong. No more Wii Fit and watching calories for me, I'm taking this doctor's advice.....

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong your life.  Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it.....don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? 

A: You should grasp the logical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. What are these? Vegetables. So steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water from the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Also, beer is made from grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have and body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, you ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain.....Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU ARE NOT LISTENING!!! Fried food are fried in vegetable oils. In fact, they are permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not. When you exercise a muscle, it just get bigger.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO, cocoa beans! Another vegetable. Chocolate is the best feel-good food around.

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey, "ROUND" is a shape.

Well, I hope this clears up any misconceptions you may have had about food, diet and exercise. It definitely did for me.

And remember.....

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body; but rather to skid in sideways  - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body throughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "WOO HOO, what a ride!"

And, also don't forget.....

Me-Me's Playhouse: "Caption This!" No. 6.....you have until midnight Sunday to enter your captions.  Once again, The Golden Phallus and 500 EntreCard credits are up for grabs. 

Me-Me's Playhouse: Caption This! No. 6

Hello! Sorry I'm a bit late, but I've been out at the local landfill this morning scouring for mattresses. Can you believe that little old lady kept a million dollars in her mattress? Unfortunately, all I found was a few mismatched shoes, a couple of tires and a lazy boy chair with nothing down in the cushions but a collection of candy wrappers and 37 cents. (sigh)

Anyway, on with the show.  It's time for a new installment of Me-Me's Playhouse: "Caption This!".....

This week I'm offering something a little different. Instead of a photo, I have chosen a painting for all you guys and gals to wrap your brains around. Remember you may enter as many captions as you'd like until midnight Sunday. Good Luck!

The winning author takes home the lovely Golden Phallus plus 500 EntreCard credits. Be sure to check back here on Monday for the festivities.

In the meantime, have a wonderful weekend!

The First Time

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

 

Wacky Wednesday! - Bumper Madness

Well, lookie what I found. Yeah, I know it's been a while since I've given you the chance to create something. But what prompted me to do this in the first place was the car I was behind in traffic yesterday. During the time we sat at a stop light, I counted 37 bumper stickers.

I'm tellin' you, I don't know if this guy was covering up a bad paint job or if the bumper stickers were actually holding his '91 Dodge mini-van together. Maybe he's one of those activist types or it could be that he's just pissed off. My favorites from his collection were, "Horn Don't Work, Watch For Finger" and "Jesus is coming.....look busy".

Not to feel left out, when I arrived back at the hacienda, I decided to create my own bumper stickers. I went over to RedKid for a generator and here are a few ideas I've come up with so far. I'd be interested to know if you have any clever stickers on your vehicle or any ideas for me. Thanks!

Click here for this generator.

Quotable: Dave Barry

1. Bill Gates is a very rich man today.....and do you want to know why?  This answer is one word: versions.

2. Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only way less filling.

3. I want a pit crew.....I hate the procedure I currently go through when I have car problems.

4. The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins.

5. Never lick a steak knife.

6. You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

7. What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four to seven beers.

8. Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer operation that never pays a nickel in taxes.

9. Escargot is French for fat crawling bag of phlegm.

10. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".

"Caption This" No. 5: The Winner Is.....

Happy Monday! Yep, it's Monday.....again.

To kick off today's post, I thought you might be interested in checking out the brand new look over at Humor Bloggers Dot com. Chelle has done an awesome job redesigning the site of the funniest bloggers on the planet. Thanks Chelle!    

I'd also like to share a few "On This Day In History" events with you before we get to the winning caption for Me-Me's Playhouse: "Caption This! No. 5. Salute!

1. 1867 - Architect Frank Lloyd Wright was born.

2. 1923 - Comedian Joan Rivers was born.

3. 1944 -  Singer/songwriter Box Scaggs was born.

4. 1953 - The Supreme Court ruled that restaurants in the District of Columbia could not refuse services to blacks.

5. 1987 - Fawn Hall, secretary to National Security aide Oliver L. North, testified at the Iran-Contra hearings, saying she helped to shred some documents.

Now, on with the show.....

This installment of "Caption This!" brought in some hilarious responses. The Impartial Panel of Three decided that the following deserve a most-honorable mention: Jenn Thorson, nonamedufus, Haley, Phillipa and My Daily List. A BIG thank you to all that participated, hope to see you here again on Friday.

May I have the envelope please?

The Impartial Panel of Three have the pleasure of announcing the winning caption for this installment. In fact, they were rolling on the floor....literally. The winning author takes home the lovely Golden Phallus plus 500 EC credits. 

And, the winner is.....

Quirky Loon!!! Be sure to visit that zany loon over at Musings Of A Quirky Loon today for some side-splitting laughter. Congratulations!!!

"Hi, we're The Dyer Boys!"

In case you haven't caught their act, drop by and pay a visit with The Dyer Boys - you'll be glad you did.