Saturday, July 11, 2009

This Bud's For You!


One day, two rednecks named Bubba and Earl were driving down the road, drinking a couple of Buds.

The passenger, Bubba said, "Lookey thar up ahead Earl, it's a po-leece roadblock! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers."

"Don't worry Bubba", Earl said. "We'll pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, peel off the label and stick them to our foreheads, then throw the bottles under the seat."

"What fer?", asked Bubba.

"Just let me do the talkin'", said Earl. They finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat and slapped the labels on their foreheads. When they reach the road block the sheriff said,

"You boys been drinkin?"

"No sir", said Earl, "we're on the patch!"


Hey, have you left your entry for this week's Caption This!? Pop on over for a chance to win!

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Friday, July 10, 2009

Me-Me's Playhouse: Caption This! No. 10

It's Friday.....already? Wow, this week has really zoomed by for me. It must be the frickin' heat. At 114 degrees, trust me, the temperature can surely mess with your brain. Yeah, yeah, I know...it's a dry heat. Arizona is the only place I know where you can make instant sun tea.

Anyway, it's time to Caption This!

The rules are simple.....view the photo, enter your captions, win prizes. You have until mid-night Sunday to enter as many captions as you'd like. Impress The Impartial Panel of Three and take home The Golden Phallus plus 500 EntreCard credits.

Be sure to check back on Monday for the awards ceremony.

Good luck!



Click photo to biggify...ha, ha!

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Thursday, July 9, 2009

Not My Mug


What is this, celebrity mugshot Tic-Tac-Toe? Not quite.

Each and every time a celebrity is arrested I am usually stunned when their mugshot is released on television or over the Internet. Jeez, folks, get it together. You spend most of your career in front of a camera, most of you are actors, couldn't you have composed yourself long enough to strike a pose for the officer behind the lens?

Take a good look at these celebrities. My guess is that Paris, Lindsay and Nicole at least had the forethought to ask for a moment in the bathroom before their mug was shot. This is one reason they carry such huge handbags.....makeup and a hairbrush. But, the guys - oh, my!

Come on, Nick, a little spit on the palms would have fixed that wild man of Borneo look you are sportin' there. In my opinion, smoothing your hair back would have given you the sympathy vote.

And, speaking of spit on the palms, poor PeeWee.

Now, Robert, those eyes look like road maps printed on glossy paper! Next time, and you know there will be, wear a pair of shades to keep those red and glassy peepers from showing.

And, speaking of peep shows, poor PeeWee.

Snoop, however, you somehow managed to rock your West Coast gansta look back and forth from the club to the station. Yeah, you've got swagger.

And, speaking of rocking back and forth, poor, poor PeeWee.

Okay, out of respect, I'll leave the dead alone.

Keep in mind, like your permanent record, your mugshot follows you around for the rest of your life. Please ask the nice officer, regardless of your circumstances, for a motivational moment prior to having your mug snapped.

Maybe with the exception of Nick and Robert, it would be difficult to pin the rap on the perp. But, luckily for all you law abiding readers, I have a way for you to hone your skills. There's an online game called Pick The Perp. Click on over, it'll be fun!

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Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Wacky Wednesday! Hear Me Roar!!!

I've never put too much stock in the daily horoscopes. Trust me, if I did, I'd be rich and famous beyond belief.

According to those two or three little lines, I'd be leading some third world country to world domination while finding a cure for every disease on the planet. I'd then write about all my fabulous quests, appear on the talk show circuit and would later write, produce and direct the film with Kate Hudson starring as me. Believe me, it's not easy being the king of the Zodiac.

Because my birthday is later this month, I thought it would be fun to explore just what the future holds. Here's what I found...

Leos are born optimists. They never worry about the future, and the future doesn't give a hoot about them either. Leos always have a silly smirk on their face that reveals their happy-go-lucky nature and will eventually make everyone hate their guts.

Leos really have it coming! One day they will find themselves in a horrible misadventure that is incredibly stranger (and infinitely more amusing) than any silly story they ever told. The saddest thing is that they will be certified crazy, bound in a straight jacket and removed from society as soon as they actually get to talk about it.

Humbling, isn't it? I suppose I should prepare myself for the worst of it. Nah, I'll just lock the doors and hide under the covers when the men in white come knocking. Yeah, that's the ticket!

Though I wonder, do they make straight jackets in purple?

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Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Oh, Johnny.....

Last night I decided to watch an all-time favorite movie of mine. Although I have seen this movie a bajillion times, I made my nest on the sofa before the feature even started so I wouldn't miss a single line.

1. Soda.....check
2. Bowl of chocolate pudding.....check
3. Bag of Doritos.....check
4. Cottage cheese and salsa.....check
5. Remote.....check

Why, oh why, don't they make 'em like this anymore?

Airplane! is definitely a classic chocked full of memorable one liners and hilarious scenes. One of my personal favorites throughout the movie would have to be Johnny, he cracks me up. I'm not the only one that has stolen many a line from him over the years.

Here, take a look.....



See what I mean?

Take it from me, Airplane! is a great movie to see any time, any place with anyone no matter how many times you've seen it.

Oh, in case you were wondering, cottage cheese and salsa mixed together makes a delicious dip.


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Monday, July 6, 2009

"Caption This!" No.9: The Winner Is.....

Happy Monday everyone, I hope you all had a great 4th of July weekend. Because of the monsoon season has started here in Arizona, it was very hot and muggy all weekend. But that didn't stop me from attending the fireworks display over in Tempe, it was awesome!

This week's "On This Day in History" has some pretty interesting events. Salute!

1. 1923 - The Union of Soviet Socialist Republic was formed.

2. 1928 - The first all-talking movie, "The Lights of New York" debuted in New York.

3. 1933 - Baseball's first All-Star game was held as the American League defeated the National League 4-2 in Chicago's Comiskey Park.

4. 1974 - Garrison's Keillor's radio show, "A Prairie Home Companion", debuted in a live broadcast from St. Paul, MN.

5. 1989 - The US Army destroyed its last Pershing A-1 missles.

Now, on with the show.....

We tried something a little different for the 4th of July edition of Me-Me's Playhouse: Caption This! I thank all of you for participating: Dizzblnd, moooooog35, Joel, Raymond, MyDailyList, BoBo, Nooter, Don and OMyWord!, hope to see all you here next time.

The envelope please.....

There can only be one winner and this week's winning captions goes to someone that is new here to The Screaming Me-Me!!! He doesn't have a blog, he has a website that promotes his musical, "Cowboys on Mars? A Space Oprey". Bob Gately is the winning author and takes home The Golden Phallus and 500 EC credits, congratulations!

Join us again this Friday for an all new edition!




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Sunday, July 5, 2009

Sunday Funny: The Little Old Lady

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they didn't smell and are silent". The doctor says "I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week."

The next week the lady goes back, "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts... although still silent they stink terribly." "Good", the doctor said, now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."


Remember.......


You have until midnight to submit your captions for "Caption This!, Fourth of July Edition". The winner takes home The Golden Phallus plus 500 EntreCard credits. Hurry on over!

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Saturday, July 4, 2009

Ain't Nothin' Funny About It.....



Jimi Hendrix
Woodstock, August 1969


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Friday, July 3, 2009

Caption This! 4th of July Edition



Three cheers for the red, white and blue.....


This is the weekend for attending parades, gathering with friends and family for B-B-Q's and watching spectacular firework displays, I wish you all a happy and safe 4th of July weekend.

And, speaking of fireworks.....

This week's installment of Me-Me's Playhouse: Caption This! is a little different. What we're looking for this week is "He said", "She thought" to fill the balloons over the heads of Barrack and Hillary. Use your imagination and enter as often as you like until mid-night Sunday.

The Impartial Panel of Three ask that you indicate "He:" and "She:" to alleviate any confusion. Their decision will be announced here on Monday, so be sure to check back here to find out who takes home the lovely Golden Phallus and 500 EntreCard credits.

In the meantime......have a great weekend!



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Thursday, July 2, 2009

Drew Carey, He Does It For Me!


As if Drew Carey's show, Whose Line Is It Anyway?, wasn't funny enough, here is a clip that was considered by the producers as unfit for television.

I'm dying......

still laughing......

bwahahahaha.....



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Wednesday, July 1, 2009

The Blogosphere Has Been Very Good To Me!

Today I am abandoning my regularly scheduled post, Wacky Wednesday!, to take care of some important recognitions. As bloggers, we are all very grateful to have loyal traffic visiting our small niche of the blogosphere.

This is why my hat is off to the Top Ten EntreCard droppers for the month of June - Salute! Each of these fine bloggers visited The Screaming Me-Me every day during the month of June. Thank you so much for stopping and dropping.


I would also like to thank Quirkyloon for bestowing upon me the lovely "I Love Your Blog" award" Quirky stops by here and comments regularly. If you haven't experienced her blog, click on her badge, you'll be glad you did!

Now, I must pass this lovely award along to four blogging buddies whose blogs I come to love. It's wonderful to have such great friends here in blogsophere, thank you all for making my days so delightful.
Abigail @ The Tangy Lemon


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