Back In The Pink!

Lawdy-mercy, I do believe I have finally shed this confounded flu. The one thing to be said for taking a combination of cold and flu medicines is captioning. That's right, despite my altered state, I managed to win the caption contest this past week over at Dufus' place. While under the influence, I submitted the caption that took first prize! Click here to view the winning caption. Thanks, Dufus, I just love hangin' with you.

Because my mailbox was beginning to overflow, my mail carrier came to the door on Thursday and handed me all the mail which had accumulated since Monday. There were the usual sale papers, bills and a package. I threw every else aside and immediately tore into the box. Lo and behold were a pair of beautiful Pink Ice earrings from LuShae Jewelry. This company had contacted me the week before and offered to send me a piece of my choice in exchange for a review. Okay, I'm game.

LuShae Jewelry art designs offers a unique range of authentic sterling silver jewelry with a wide range of precious and semi precious gemstones. They follow celebrity and fashion jewelry trends sourcing the most contemporary high grade pieces available ensuring unmatched quality and value. Let me tell you, this pair of 4-carat princess cut earrings are the bomb. They are truly beautiful and really sparkle when the light hits them. If you are looking for jewelry either as a gift or for yourself, you owe it to yourself to pop over and browse their online catalog.

In addition, LuShae Jewelry is offering a giveaway of $5,000 to one lucky blogger plus a monthly drawing for $200. You must click here for all the details. Besides, who couldn't use an extra five grand in this economy? It is really very easy to enter! Simply add one of their many badges to choose from to your blog (you'll notice I have already added one to my sidebar) - that's it, now go!

I do apologize for not making the rounds this past week; however, I did manage to pop in on a few of you just enough to satisfy my blogging jones. I promise, I'll get by today to each and every one of you because I'm back in the pink!

I'm Alive.....

Hello?

Is this my blog?

It looks kind of familiar.

Yep, I believe this is the place.

Greetings one and all. Thank you so much for all your well wishes during the past week. I gotta tell ya, I would not wish this flu on anyone. Well, maybe on an ex-husband or two, but not on any of you.

I did not go to the doctor. I decided to treat myself, it's just the flu after all. I sent a friend to the herbal/natural foods shop to find every remedy she could to knock this crap out of me. Click on this photo and take a close look. Along with what remedies I already had (do expiration dates really matter?), this is how my side table has looked for the past week. Trust me, I have tried every combination imaginable. In fact, I think I may have hallucinated a time or two. Now, if I can just figure out which combination brought on the colors. Weeeeeeee.

Aside from the fever-coughing-sneezing-body-aching flu symptoms, I have determined a new mattress is definitely in order. Good grief, I think I have flipped it 3 times just trying to find the right side and the right end to make myself comfortable. And blankets. At one time I had five blankets piled-up on me. Maybe if I hadn't been watching the Olympics I wouldn't have been so frickin' cold. Brrrrrrrr.

Did I mention no appetite? I haven't weighed myself, but by the way my pajama pants are fitting, this flu has caused me to drop at least 10 pounds. Yippee, I have finally dropped the last of that baby weight I've been carrying around for the past 33 years. There is a god!

Okay, I think it's time to return to the land of la-la. I just wanted you all to know that I am alive and feeling better. Thank you again for stopping in and checking on me. I hope to see you again tomorrow.

Blog Closed...Due To Flu

I have been fighting the flu off for days, but it finally won.

Sorry, folks, I'll see you in a couple of days.

The Sickly Me-Me!!!

Caption This! No. 32 Winner!

Hello all and thank you for playing the Olympic edition of Caption This! As you can see the guy in the photo has definitely confused the day's event...the luge. He thought the call was for the loo and attempts to mount the throne at the starting line.

The Panel has handed down their decision and the following have received a most-honorable mention......

Tgoette said...
"I am Dukiyama, defender of the toilet bowl. Beware my almighty stench!"

Kelly said...
"Yung Chin Wang: Protector of Toilets, Defender of Turds"

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...
"Yogi has his game face on as he makes his first attempt at toilet diving. The key is to have very little splash and to try to not disturb the turd in the pot."

Ziva said...
"The new sport doggy style luge didn't quite make the 2010 Olymic Games, but became an instant hit in Japan. The key to success, young Suzuki Ichiro soon discovered, was to eat, breathe and pee doggy style."

mac said...
"Tanaka sincerely regretted his decision to swallow Godzilla whole."

And the winner is.....

Today's winning author and recipient of The Golden Phallus is the one and only..... Mrs. Blogalot!!! Congratulations, rise from your throne and take a bow!

You really must pay her a visit today and follow her, here's just one reason why.....she would actually drink tomato sauce from the can if it were socially acceptable. Like Jerry Seinfeld, Mrs. Blogalot definitely offers a new spin on life's day-to-day ups and downs. Bet your bottom, her blog is positively a must read.

Now, the winning craption....erm, uh.....caption.

"As Young Flush takes the lead in the imaginary Tidy
Bowl games, visions of coming in number 2
again spurs him on to victory!"

Again, thank you all for playing, hope to see you here again next week. Have a great weekend!

Gold Medal Winners

Phoenix - The Screaming Me-Me!!! has been awarded the 2010 BlogStar Award for Best Blog Layout by Studio 30 Plus. The news came in last night during the Olympic broadcast from Vancouver. Voted by the community, this is MadMadMargo's second win for her blog design. In 2009, The Screaming Me-Me!!! was voted Best Blog Design by Humor Bloggers Dot Com.

When reached for comment, MMM said, "I would like to thank everyone for voting for my blog, this award is very special to me. To be nominated was a thrill, but to actually win is like receiving the gold medal."

MMM offers her congratulations to fellow bloggers whose blogs also took home the gold - Musings of a Quirkyloon who received the award in the category Blogger You'd Like To Go On Vacation With and Mental Poo received awards in the following categories: Snarkiest Commenter, Best Tweeter and Best Male Blogger. Congratulations also go to In Jayne's World for Best Newbie and The Peach Tart for Best Female Blogger.

For the complete list of winners of the 2010 BlogStar Awards go to Studio 30 Plus.

Me-Me's Playhouse Caption This! No. 32

Well, well, well. Guess what I did? I won the caption contest over at Man Over Board! Whooo-hooo! Thanks, Glenn! Be sure to pop over to Glenn's place and take a look at my winning caption.

Now, in honor of the Olympic games, I selected this photo for this week's Caption This! You may enter as often as you like. The winning caption will be announced Saturday by The Impartial Panel of Three. The winner will take home The Golden Phallus.



For more captioning fun, pop on over to Dufus' place.

From The Mountains, To The Prairies.....

It's President's Day and I have decided to celebrate the day with an activity which is rich in tradition and full of glory. An activity which every red-blooded one of you should move on to show your patriotism and that you are doing your part to stimulate our economy which, if you don't mind me saying, is in the crapper.

SHOPPING!!!!

Yes, that's right, shopping! Hurry, revisit your Sunday paper and scan the Internet for the sales of a lifetime. Don't let this opportunity pass you by. So, put on your walking shoes, grab your wallet and hit the streets to stroll the malls. Do what's right for America, ladies and gentlemen, go shopping! Your country will thank you.

Love This!!!

I am in love.....in love with Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. This ensemble hippie band will be featured this year at the Coachella Music Festival in April. Their song, Home, from their self-title album is definitely a favorite of mine.

Give a listen.....

Caption This! No. 31 Winner!

Yes, the Impartial Panel of Three has handed down their decision for this week's Caption This! But, before we get to the winning caption, the following have received a most-honorable mention.....

Mrsblogalot said:
"This is a job for Bearded Cigar Woman!!!"

moooooog said:
"In his defense, the camera really does add ten pounds."

Lauren said:
"Upon his release from wardrobe rehab (as captured in this recent photo), child star Harvey Wallbanger, the last surviving munchkin from the Wizard of Oz, writes tell all book entitled, "OZ S&M Scandals. What was really hidden behind the Wizard's curtain."

Skye said:
"I'm too sexy for this glove, too sexy for my shirt. So sexy it hurts..."

Winner, winner.....

This week's winner is none other than Chris at My Virtual Attic. Congratulations, Chris, stand up and take a bow, you have won The Golden Phallus!

You all might want to stop by Chris' place today because he's one heckuva nice guy and the only one you might wanna chase out of town with torches and pitchforks.


Now, the winning caption.....

Hugo's anti-sexual discrimination lawsuit
finally paid off, and HOOTERS was forced to hire him.

Thank you all for playing Caption This!, I hope to see you again next week. Until then, have a great weekend.

All In A Daze Work.....

My friend Don over at Beyond Left Field recently submitted a term to the Urban Dictionary. This term, I'm sure, has affected us bloggers at one time or another - it's called blogger brain.

Here is Don's entry.....

When one's brain has turned to a mass of useless matter, e.g., a loser or retard due to spending too much time blogging and not enough time in the "real" world. Early signs of "blogger brain" include: feelings of guilt for missing a post, signing in every hour to check for new comments, and forgetting your children's names... It's useless doctor. I've tried reaching her, but it's as though she's in another dimension. It's as though she is suffering from "blogger brain." Forget him...he's zoned out with a case of "blogger brain."

This morning I had my usual cup of coffee to get my brain firing on all cylinders before I sat down to write today's post. Just yesterday I had a couple of ideas; but, for the life of me, I could not remember what I had thought was so clever then to turn it into a post today. Been there?

I sat and stared at my screen which seemed like forever, I visited a few blogs hoping to jar my memory, still I was not able to remember a thing. I've got nothing. No doubt, I have blogger brain.

To help me through this ailment and to keep me on track, I decided to take a cue from Sarah Palin and write my chores for the day on my hand. Have you ever tried to write on your hand which has been slathered with lotion? Arrrggghhh! After numerous tries, I headed off to the sink to wash my hands with dish detergent. Yep, that gave me a clean slate.

• Blog
• Comment
• Follow
• FaceBook
• Nap!

That's it, that's my day, no more blogger brain.

Thanks, Sarah!

Me-Me's Playhouse Caption This! No. 31

Welcome one and all to this week's edition of Caption This!

What is this guy up to?

Got Captions? Great! Enter as often as you'd like. Then return here on Saturday when the winning caption is announced.

The prize? The Golden Phallus.

Good luck!




Now, if you love captioning, head on over to Dufus' place for more fun!

Special Announcement: Today is the final day to vote in Knucklehead's Blog-Off 2010. If you haven't already, please make your way over to Too Many Mornings to read Mike's latest post, it is hysterical. Then VOTE, you have until 6 PM Pacific time.....thank you!

More Than You Probably Wanted To Know!

For those of you who have followed my little piece of the blogosphere, you know when it comes to awards I generally don't follow all the rules. Well, my best blogging buddy, Dufus, awarded me the Best Follower Award last week. Thank you, Dufus! This award requires a meme which is like no other I've seen before, it has 44 questions for Me-Me to answer. So, without further ado, here goes.....

1. What is your current obsession?
Blogging and all that it encompasses.

2. What are you wearing today?
Pajama pants and a T-shirt.

3. What's for dinner?
Dinner? Hell, I haven't had breakfast yet.

4. What's the last thing you bought?
A birthday gift for my grandson who is turning 3 at the end of the month.

5. What are you listening to right now?
Blind Faith's Sea of Joy.

6. What do you think of the person who tagged you?
Dufus is a true blue blogging buddy! I bow to his awesomeness.

7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
Telluride, Colorado.

8. What are your must-have pieces for summer?
A sarong, sandals and a pair of sunglasses.

9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Peru.

10. Which language do you want to learn?
French

11. What's your favourite quote?
"I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me." --Hunter S. Thompson

12. Who do you want to meet right now?
Quentin Tarantino.

13. What is your favourite colour?
Purple.

14. Give us 3 styling tips that work for you.
Are you kidding me!

15. What is your dream job?
Owning my own business again.

16. What is your favorite magazine?
Huh, they still print magazines?

17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?
Buffalo meat.

18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas?
Anyone with a muffin-top wearing a midriff top. Yeow!

19. Who according to you is the most over-rated style icon?
Meh.

20. What kind of haircut do you prefer?
"Take a 1/2 in off the ends."

21. What are you going to do after this?
Comment, comment, comment.

22. What are your favorite movies?
Monty Python's Holy Grail and Life of Brian also Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs.

Congratulations, you're half-way through!

23. What inspires you?
Passion for what one is doing.

24. What do your friends call you most commonly?
Goddess.

25. Would you prefer coffee or tea?
Coffee with lots of cream and sugar.

26. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?
Take a nap.

27. What makes you go wild?
Censored.

28. Which other blogs do you love visiting?
nonamedufus
Quirkyloon
Cat Lady Larew
Lee the Hot Flash Queen
Mrs. Blogsalot
Wizard of Otin
Shalampx Speaks
In Jayne's World
Beyond Left Field
Too Many Mornings
Think Spin
Stir Fry Awesomness
Cute as a Buggy
Mental Poo
Ann's Snap, Edit, Scrap
The Peach Tart
Knucklehead
Freak Smack

Okay, okay - check my blog roll!

29. Favorite Dessert/Sweet?
Creme Brulee.

30. How many tabs are turned on in your browser right now?
Three.

31. Favorite Season?
Winter in Arizona.

32. If I come to your house now, what would you cook for me?
Ahi tuna, rice pilaf and steamed asparagus.

33. What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you?
Persona non grata.

34. What are you afraid of most?
Rattlesnakes!!!

35. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
"Where's my hairbrush?"

36. What brings a smile on your face instantly?
Censored.

37. A word that you say a lot?
Shit!

38. What would you do if you were made President for one day?
Ask to be flown to that secret place the President goes in the case the world is coming to an end.

39. What is the one thing that keeps you going?
PMA - Positive Mental Attitude.

40. What word drives you crazy when you hear it?
Irregardless!

41. What's your least favorite character trait?
Vanity. Check your ego at the door.

42. What do you get if you multiply six by nine?
What? I didn't know there was going to be a test!

43. What do you get when you fall in love?
Oh, god.....divorce.

44. Who put the ram in the rama-lama-ding-dong?
The Edsels.

And now, as part of this lengthy, time-consuming meme, I'm supposed to add a question. So...

45. Who is your favorite guitar player of all time?
Duane Allman!

Whew! I made it!

Now, I going to pass this award on to a few bloggers who are awesome followers here at The Screaming Me-Me, whether they make it through this meme or not:

Christiejolu at Tales From My Head
C: at My Virtual Attic
Mr. Stupid at Stupidation

Just one more thing before I close, please bounce over to Knucklehead's to vote for my friend MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings. This is the final post in the Blog-Off 2010, he needs your vote! Thank you.

Caption This! No. 30 Winner!

Hola amigos! I needed a break so I took a little trip down Mexico way for the weekend. All went well until I hit the freeway closing last night just south of Phoenix which put us almost 2 hours behind schedule. I'm still not to clear with what happened except it had something to do with smuggling illegal aliens and a shoot out. Ay carumba!

On with the show.

This past week's Caption This! brought in 50 clever captions. Thank you all for playing. The Panel has reached their decision and several have received a most-honorable mention.

Ann said:
"Just to give you all a heads up, don't stick your neck out for this guy."

Dave "Loose Cannon" Willis said:
"Mogabe, the devout witch doctor, was gradually making progress with his aspirations to be higher and closer to the gods."

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said:
"They say in our African tribe that our penises are in direct proportion to the length and width of our necks."

FreakSmack said:
"Step right up, step right up! Don't be shy folks, everyone's a winner! Just toss the ring around my neck & win your lady a a prize! Only $5 for 3 throws. Look at how many have already won!"

pcd2k said"
"I've been photo-shopped!"

Now, the winner!

Our winner this week is new to Caption This! Give a big round of applause to Skye over at Weekly Injection of Chuckles because she takes home The Golden Phallus to add to her trophy case. Congratulations, Skye, you are one clever captioner! Be sure to pop over to visit her blog today and welcome her to the neighborhood as well.

"Hmmm, feathers like a bird, neck like a giraffe,
tusks like an elephant, now what am I missing?
Oh yeah, hung like a horse!"

I Shot A Man In Reno.....

Sorry, folks, it was bound to happen sooner or later...I've had to leave the country. I'm afraid today's regular featured post has been preempted as I have to make my wake to the border.

The winner of this week's Caption This! will not appear until Monday, see you then!!!

Sheeple, Bah-Bah-Bah

In a former life, I worked for several think tanks on Capital Hill as a campaign consultant. One of my many charges on any given campaign was to oversee the advertising. There were those times when I actually had to write and direct the message which was to appeal to the voters. That was many years ago, but even today during any election I still tend to critique political advertising - the good and the bad.

Last night, as I was scanning the Internet news, I came across a California Republican primary ad where Carly Fiorina has launched her attack against her opponent, Tom Campbell. Once you take a look at the ad below, which was just released yesterday, you'll understand why this video has already gone viral.

Some analysts have tagged this ad as being "terrifying" or "psychedelic". Don't worry, I'm not going to give you my blow-by-blow opinion, I know you don't have all day. However, whether you are politically minded or not, Republican, Democrat, Libertarian or whatever, this ad is definitely worth watching and then you can decide for yourself.

Here take a look.....



Well, what do you think?

Have You Heard?

Here are a couple of news items you may find interesting.....

PHOENIX--Elementary principal, Ron Sterr, composed a letter to the parents of the children attending Litchfield Elementary school. Intending to be a joke, the letter was handed out to the teachers. The letter stated in part.....

"The math we do is really easy, if your child is either too lazy or too stupid to finish it in class, I'm sending it home so that you can work with them and judge for yourself whether it is laziness or idiocy that inhibits your child's progress."

However, one 2nd grade teacher failed to understand Sterr's intent and sent the letter home with her students. As a result, Sterr has been suspended from his duties and is facing a possible demotion or termination.

I feel the real story here is in the teacher who sent the letter home. How could you read such a letter and think it appropriate to be sent home to the parents without questioning the principal first? Don't they have staff meetings or a teacher's lounge where things like these are discussed? Either this teacher did not read the letter or, if she did, she just didn't get it. Geeez, talk about being stupid.


PHOENIX-- The Screaming Me-Me!!!, a humor blog, has been presented the Beautiful Blogger Award by Arizona blogger Chickenista who writes The Next Step. When finally reached for comment, blogger MadMadMargo said.....

"I would like to thank Chickenista for this lovely award. I appreciate the recognition. Thank you so much for thinking of me."

When asked why all the conditions of receiving the award were not met, MMM went on to say.....

"Although I may not follow all of the rules, this award is important to me and will take a starring role on my sidebar feature, The Award Show."

Me-Me's Playhouse Caption This! No. 30

Here we are again, it's time to play Caption This! Take a good look at the photos below, enter as many clever captions as you like, then return here on Saturday when the winner of The Golden Phallus will be announced.

What is this guy trying to tell us?



Now that you are all done here, pop on over to Dufus' place for more captioning fun!

Crime Buster!!!

On any given day, one of the first things I do each morning is take a brisk walk around the neighborhood. But, yesterday was different, I got so busy it wasn't until after 8 PM when I found the time to go outside. My neighborhood is a quiet and established area with beautiful old homes which have either been well cared for or remodeled. So, walking after dark is really never a problem.

One of the places on my route is a church with a huge parking lot that I usually cut through on my way back home. Last night I noticed two guys sitting in a truck which had been backed in to a space along the backside as I entered the lot. "Okay", I thought, "just keep your eyes forward and walk as if you're on a mission." I got within 10 feet of the truck when both doors flew opened, the guys exited the truck and were standing there with one foot still in the truck. Uh oh, their eyes were on me.

I had to think fast. "Have you seen a man walking a large dog come through here?" I said this hoping they would think I wasn't alone, that I was looking for my husband who was walking our large, ferocious dog - I have neither. They grunted, "No". I said, "Thanks", and kept walking, faster and faster. As I reached the other side of the parking lot, I noticed a Volvo and, through the shadows, I saw a hose which stretched from the gas tank to a gas can sitting on the ground. Holy crap, these guys are siphoning gas!

Upon leaving the lot, my route took me out of their line of sight and my brisk walk became a dead on run for the last block before I reached my home. I fumbled for my keys, unlocked the door and dialed 9-1-1. "What's your emergency?", the dispatcher asked. I quickly explained to her what I had just witnessed and she said she was sending out a unit to investigate. I hung up the phone however, my curiosity got the best of me.

I headed out back down the street to watch while staying out of the line of fire. Within 30 seconds here comes two police cars - one entered from one side of the lot and one entered the side close to where I was standing. I moved in closer. As the cops approached the truck, the doors opened and the guys began to flee the scene. The chase was on! These guys did not get very far before they were tackled to the ground. Wow!

I moved in a little closer when a third police car pulled up right next to me. I quickly said, "I'm the one who made the call", the officer pulled on into the lot next to the Volvo. Next thing I know, a helicopter is overhead with its beacon shining all around. Damn! The guys were then placed into the patrol cars then the cops searched their truck. On the back of the truck was a camper shell and from the inside they pulled out seven 5-gallon gas cans. Holy crap, these guys are professionals!

As the police were wrapping things up, I was feeling pretty proud of myself and decided to head back to the house. I looked at the clock, checked the TV schedule and had just settled in when a knock came at the door, "Phoenix Police". We had a brief conversation where I learned these guys apparently had been working the neighborhood for the past week or so due to the number of reports made. That's 40 gallons per haul at $2.69 per gallon. The officer told me that often times the gas is sold at half the pump price to friends and associates and this is an activity which happens all over the valley of the sun. What a way to make a living.

Now that this post is finished, it's time for my walk. Watch out criminals, here I come!

Me-Me's Neighborhood No. 5

Ohhhhh, who are the people in your neighborhood?

Today's featured neighbor is no stranger to most of you. However, there may be some of you who have never visited her before. Regardless, please drop by her place today for a visit and make her feel welcomed. And, be sure to drop her a note and "follow" her, it's the neighborly thing to do.

I would like you all to know Cat Lady Larew. Now, she's no ordinary cat lady. There's something very unique about her...she has no cats. That's right, no cats. Her blog, How to Become a Cat Lady...Without the Cats has been an absolute favorite of mine over the past several months. She absolutely cracks me up! Talk about a quick wit, even the comments she leaves around the blogosphere are hilarious. If you don't believe me, pop over and read a recent post of hers, Felt and Impressions of Tuva, where she had everyone going, including myself.


Here's a little something from her profile to give you an idea of what you could be missing:

One day I woke up and discovered I had become a cat lady... just without the cats. Like a crazy cat lady's house, my brain is a cluttered jumble of thoughts, ideas and memories. I write to sort through some of the clutter in my brain. Oh, yeah... and to get attention!

Sounds intriguing, doesn't it?

Also, Cat Lady Larew is one fierce competitor. You'll see her around during the week submitting to and winning caption contests. No, she hasn't won The Golden Phallus yet, but she's usually a recipient of a most-honorable mention. However, with her perseverance, I'm sure she's just a contest or two away from taking home the coveted prize.

Now, here's a something I've not done before in this series. Yesterday I received the "Happy 101" award from my dear, dear friend Quirky. Quirkyloon is also a great neighbor and friend of Cat Lady's. Anyway, I would love to pass this award along to Cat Lady Larew, because she's a "cupcake" of a gal. No doubt about it, she's the real deal, a true blue follower of many, many blogs. Here's to you, Cat Lady Larew....thank you for being such a great neighbor!!!


So, grab a Diet Dr. Pepper and head on over to How to Become a Cat Lady...Without the Cats, settle in for a good laugh and show her some bloggy love by welcoming her to your neighborhood.