Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Wacky Wednesday! - Absurd Inventions

Last night I "StumbledUpon" this great site of absurdity and thought it appropriate for Wacky Wednesday! Totally Absurd Inventions has an extensive list of American's goofiest patents. Below is just a couple of the actual patents that are listed. For hours of fun, you might want to bookmark this site. And, yes, these are for real! 

ANTI-EATING MOUTH CAGE - US Patent Issued 1982
The holidays are a time to celebrate (there's a holiday coming up soon somewhere in the world every week). And you know what the holidays mean... Eat! Feast! Food! The holidays just wouldn't be the same without a little overindulgence in the chow arena, but overeating leads to health problems and our inventor says that it's a foregone conclusion that chefs, housewives that cook and restaurant employees who are constantly subjected to food will overeat their way into obesity. His solution? The Anti-Eating Mouth Cage!  

The Mouth Cage is designed to allow you to breath and speak but not eat due to the food barrier that's mounted on your face. Just in case you are temped by that perfect pie that's calling out to you, the Mouth Cage is actually locked onto your head, so you can't cheat the system. We don't know about you, be we're thinking it's just a little too creepy to have Mom and our favorite restaurant staff smiling from behind their own little personal mouth jails. Guess it's time for some fava beans and a nice Chianti. 

DAD SADDLE - US Patent Issued 2002

Yee haw, giddyup! Strollers are fine for tiny tykes but larger kids need their own modus operandi for freeloading a ride.  We think this kid is way to big to not be hoofing it on his own... but hey, maybe they're watching a parade.   

The Dad Saddle slips around Daddio's waist and evenly distributes the weight load on his hips for maximum comfort. We want to know where the reins are for steering this steed and we highly recommend no spurs!

Click here for more goofy patents.


  1. I'm wondering how many pounds the Dad Saddle holds? I might want to jump on Mr. Peach Tart at the upcoming July 4th parade. To get a good seat.

  2. another very enjoyable discovery, Margo.


    thanks again,


  3. It's just a matter of time before someone comes out with the Mouth Cage and Dad Saddle diet book. And is the dad 9 feet tall or is that a midget on his back?

  4. The dad saddle is actually kinda cool. The mouth cage is just an ode to pathetic fatties.

  5. The Anti-Eating Mouth Cage can also double as a chastity belt to prevent oral sex. I understand that, while she was First Lady, Hillary Clinton lobbied Congress (obviously unsuccessfully) to pass an act requiring Presidential interns to wear them, but I could be wrong about that.

  6. The mouth cage has already been done. Can you say Silence of the Lambs?

    LOVE the saddle.. that's a great idea

  7. Wow.

    The 'Dad Saddle' I had as a kid that my father made looked WAY different.

    I've suppressed a lot of pain.

  8. Great! Now I know what I can do with my menstrual cups and pubic hair shampoo. Wow, thanks for the heads up!

  9. i get to try out one of those mouth cages every time i go to the groomer, now i understand why- theyre afraid i will eat their snaks.

  10. That Dad Saddle is disturbing, it looks like an old lady is trying to hump that guy.

    Hey I watched that Hammer Pants Dance about 4 times, I love it.


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