Thursday, November 19, 2009

Raspberry Awards

This is part in a series at HBDC Anti-Injustice Campaign.

No, this isn't your typical blogger award. In fact, it's not a blogger award at all. I'm talking about blowing a raspberry. You know, the sound you make by sticking out your tongue between your lips and blowing to make the sound of flatulence. Yeah, that raspberry.

There are those times when only the raspberry - the razz, the razzie - seems appropriate for situations that frustrate us during our day-to-day lives.

Today, I award the razzie to the following.....

Here's to you, Ms. DMV Lady, for all the times you've look at me over the top of your glasses and sent me to the back of the line, regardless of how I've organized my paperwork, to fill out just one more form and for having me repeat "my story" when I reach your window again as if you've never seen me before then delivering the news that I'm in the wrong line.

And to you, Mr. Inconsiderate Driver, for cutting me off in traffic so you can get to wherever you are going 10 seconds ahead of time and for waving at me as if we're friends when I honk at you to avoid an accident or killing me in the process only to spot you pulling in right behind me arriving at the same destination and ignoring me as I try to make eye contact.

And, how about you, Ms. Customer Service? Here's for putting me on hold to listen to your crappy ads about how great your company is for 30 minutes after I tell you "my story" and you promise to resolve my issue then transfer me to another department where I have to start with "my story" all over again only to listen to more crappy ads while I am on hold.....again, and again.

Here's to you, Mr. Bank Teller, when you ask me for a third piece of identification even though I worked at this branch location for three years and trained you for the position you're currently in and staring at my account information on your computer screen, which seems like forever, then calling your supervisor (who I also trained) for an approval to cash my benefits check issued by your bank.

And, finally, to you, Ms. Retail Clerk. Remember me? I was just in your store yesterday when you told me how wonderful I looked in hot pink and not everyone could pull-off that dress but, because of my skin tone and hair color, it was perfect and, now that I want to return my purchase, you have the nerve to ask me if I purchased it at your location then informed me, rather smugly, that this item, because it was on sale, qualifies for exchange only.

I salute you all! *razz*


  1. I think you should award the razzie's in person, give it that personal touch with a little spittle in the mix! Stupid Heads!

  2. When my sisters and I were kids, stupid head was the ultimate put down. It still feels good!

  3. Can I give one to my hubby cuz he is an ass all the time??

  4. @ Buggys - Yeah! I should. Funny, my sisters and I still, I mean used to, say the same thing and it does feel good.

    @ Lee - By all means, be my guest.

  5. I would like to give some of those to a few people. Especially all the bad drivers.

  6. Those are all great candidates for razzies. I second them all except maybe the DMV--I've never had that experience here.

    I do have much more to say about the high quality of your razz awards, but I'm busy serving other bloggers at the moment. Please stay on the blog, your attention to my commments is important to me and I'll return to add to my comments in priority sequence. In the meantime, please listen to some insipid elevator music. ;)

  7. Holy crap.

    If you think THAT is what makes an inconsiderate driver, you're lucky you don't live in New England.

    I pull shit like that just pulling out of my driveway.

  8. (laughing at joel's comment...)

    I want to give a razzie to the the idiot who wrote the original Acai Weight Loss spam email that I get 17 copies of every single d*mn day.

    I don't give a flying f*ck whether Rachel Ray and Oprah use it, dummy.

    PPPPPHHhhhhlllllbbbpppppttt! :P

    (ah, that feels good.)

    Thanks, M.

  9. i am right there with you in handing out these razzes. maybe that's what i'll go do today.

    have a great day!

  10. Sounds like you're having a rough week...and it isn't over yet.

  11. "Yeah! What SHE said!" exclaimed The Old Silly as he raspberried in total agreement.

  12. This is great! I know a few people I would like to give this to!

  13. @ Sue - Go for it!!! I promise, you'll feel so much better.

    @ Joel - Might I suggest a new audio track? I'm not really a fan of Barry Manilow.

    @ moooooog - You pull out of your driveway at 70 mph? Wow! Impressive.

    @ Midwest Mom - While you're at it, give 'em a double razz - one for me.

    @ PJ - Nothing like settling your frustrations with a good razie. Go forth and razz!

    @ Dufus - Oh, it's not a bad week, more like a bad month.

    @ Old Silly - Nothing like safety in numbers.

    @ Christiejolu - There you go, let 'em rip, show 'em know how you really feel. :)

  14. Awesome!

    I'm going to give one to the granny who elbowed me out of the way at Super China Buffet so she could get more "General Toe's Chicken". (That's really what she called it.)

  15. I even felt good when Buggys said Stupid Head.

    Here's my razzie for the day. To Ms. First Grade teacher, who gave me the look for not getting my daughter's make-up homework from when she was out for nearly two weeks completed in one night. I'll get to it but you teach first graders all day, you know what kind of attention spans they have, have your tried to complete 15 assignments in one evening? I think not. Also thank you for reminding me that I am a lousy parent during the "Have Thanksgiving lunch with your child" event today that I only found out about 15 minutes before hand. Don't thank me for showing up even though I hate hate hate these kinds of things, and because I am so swamped from missing so much work while daughter was sick....Hell, I'll just write a post about this on my own blog.

  16. @ kys - General Toe's Chicken? Bwahahahaha!

    @ Jen - Feel better? I look forward to reading the rest of the story.

  17. @Me-Me: Barry Manilow rocks! Damn! I shouldn't have shouted that so loudly. I woke myself up.

  18. Great...thanks. Now I want to blow something up!

  19. each one of those is very deserving of the award. I tip my hat to you, well I would if I was wearing one anyway

  20. You tell 'em, Me-Me. Of course, where I'm from it wouldn't be a "Razzie" it would be a "Finger". But whatever works for you.

  21. @ Joel - LOL!

    @ Don - Oh, good. My work is done.

    @ Ann - Thanks, but there are more, get you hat.

  22. Yeah. Not only do they deserve the "razzie" but a middle finger salute would do just as well!

    Um, yeah. Return something? They hide.

    Very funny, Me-Me!

  23. LOL. This is great. I know a few people I would definitely love to give those too.

  24. I've had a raspberry pie,
    but I never raspberried me!


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