Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Wacky Wednesday! - Banned From Wal-Mart

From My Inbox...
Recently retired, Mr. Dunbar was forced to accompany his wife while shopping. He found it uneventful. His antics to fight boredom caused he and his wife to be banned from Wal-Mart.


Dear Mrs. Dunbar,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Dunbar are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' And last, but not least ..........

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'


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20 comments:

  1. Hilarious! I could just see it in my mind. :)

    NathanKP
    Inkweaver Review

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  2. This is funny stuff, I needed the laugh today. THX

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  3. The guy sounds overly obnoxious. But pretty darned funny!

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  4. OMG that is so hilarious. If I were dragged into Walmart that oftem I would probably have ended doing some (not all) of those.

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  5. possibly the funniest thing i read in months!

    durty-d
    durty-d.blogspot.com

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  6. Very funny! Thanks for reading my blog. Now I've got you flagged on my reader, too.

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  7. Mr. Dunbar sounds like a pretty funny fellow. He would be welcome in my store any time. Unfortunately I don't own or work in a store but if I did ...

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  8. Absolutely funny.

    Banned From Wal-Mart? But no problem. Please tell your husband that he is always welcomed to work in my supermarket which is one of the top one in the world! I always need your husband type of worker in my supermarket!!!

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  9. I love this guy!!~!He has the guts to do all them things that "dance" thru my mind. SSNUFFY

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  10. Hahaha..

    I love this post..

    Really made me laugh..

    :)

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  11. Great, now I have to clean Diet Pepsi off my montior. :)

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  12. Now I have to go and try some of these very funny actions! I really have to see the expression one someones face when they find some unexpected condoms in their basket!

    Awesome post. :)

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  13. My Type of Guy...You go Mr. Dunbar

    As Always

    Peace

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  14. this post made me do a smile :-)

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  15. Humor yes, though I'd like to turn the lens a little to the political/cultural perspective; I can read a frustrated protest of enforced capitalism creeping through. But then, I'm a dark humor curmudgeonly type, ala Swift and Twain. Especially given Dark Friday turned into bloody Friday: crowds stampeded to death a Wal-Mart worker, then got mad when the police shut the doors on their shopping experience. Still funny, caustically funny

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  16. That is hilarious! Is this just a joke or is it real? I just stumbled upon your blog and it looks pretty cool!

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  17. hahaha loooooove the Wacky Wednesday feature!

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