Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Wacky Wednesday! - April Fools Edition

Banned From Walmart...

Dear Mrs. King,  

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. King are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.  

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.  

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.  

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.  

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'  

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.  

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.  

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.  

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'  

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10. September 

10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.  

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.  

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.  

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'  

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' And last, but not least ..........  

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'


  1. I've read this before and it cracks me up every time.
    I especially love the hiding in clothes rack and saying "Pick Me, Pick me."

  2. I LOVE this .. my favorite has to be the tomato juice.. followed closely by the gun and anit-depressants

  3. I'm gonna print this out and dare some of my lunatic friends to do everything on this list.

  4. Wow. This reminds me of how I used to spend my Friday nights when I was like 19. You know, too young to drink and too old to do other stuff. So we would go run amyck in our local Meijers, which was open 24-7.

    My friend Ryan once took a canoe paddle and paddled himself around in a shopping car6t until he was asked to leave

  5. @ Project Savior - "Pick me, pick me!" I'm afraid I'd pee my pants.

    @ dizzblnd - Yep, I have to agree with you. Although, humming the Mission Impossible theme gets me.

    @ C.B. Jones - What a great idea!!! Get your video camera ready and film them completing each prank. Priceless.

    @ Office Scribe - LOL! My sisters and I played basketball and rode bikes through the aisles until my dad took us out of there.

  6. While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

    They don't sell guns in my Wal Mart must be because I live in the city, damn those stereotypes!

  7. You are always good for putting a smile on my face! Here's one for you :D

  8. What a riot, MMMargo! And my sick sense of humor tells me that #3 is my favorite. :o)

  9. Once, when I was @ the pharmacy picking up anti-depressants, I inquired about knives and was asked to come back another day...

  10. I really enjoy reading's hilarious. Funny thing is that I can actually relate to two of those things. One would be illegal I think so I'll not mention either.

  11. Oh I'm so doing the tomato juice one.

  12. These are all funny, but #13 really cracked me up. I think I might try some of these sometime.

  13. These are hilarious! Thanks for making me smile.

  14. That was for the good laugh. Cheers.

  15. Hey, I have a similar comment with the previous commenter. Anyway, I really enjoyed this post, made me relax for a while from dropping and blog hopping too.

  16. @ Chaotically Calm - lol, I try to imagine myself as the clerk in the gun department and when asked about anti-depressants, I would either run for cover or quit.

    @ Liz - Thank you so much, I try. :)

    @ Holly & Mike - This seems to be a very popular prank. I glad you see the humor in it.

    @ Venom - Really? Gee, I wonder if this was a stall static just to give the clerk time to quit?

    @ I Hate Commercials - Are you tempted? I am.

    @ Don - Oh, really? C'on, share with us.

    @ Shawn - Please take your camera and record the reactions - I wanna see.

    @ Dalton J Fox - If you do, please pick a WalMart somewhere other than Phoenix. I'd hate to have an embarrassing moment in the clothing department.

    @ AVCr8teur - Hey, I aims to please.

    @ Jena Isle - Thanks so much, hope to see you again real soon! :)

  17. When this showed up in my email a few months ago.. I just about died.. it was like totally what I wanted to do... and it's still funny...


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