1. What is Thanksgiving? Family, turkey dinner and dress rehearsal for Christmas. - Unknown
2. I love Thanksgiving turkey... it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
3. Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. - Erma Bombeck
4. Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year. - PJ O'Rourke
5. We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin
6. I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. - Jon Stewart
Who's talking dirty? Listen carefully this Thanksgiving.....
1. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
2. Just lay back and take it easy--I'll do the rest."
3. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
4. How long will it take after you stick it in?
5. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
6. Just reach in and grab the giblets.
7. Whew...that's one terrific spread!
8. I am in the mood for a little dark meat.
9. Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist.
10. And he forces his way into the end zone!