Monday, November 25, 2013

Old Folks Boogie

What in the hell has happened to me? When did the simplest of tasks become so arduous? When did preparing for house guests become such a nightmare? I admit my age and have always felt that I was accomplishing more than my mother did at this age, but what the bloody hell? It's like I woke up this morning and I had aged at least 10 years over night. 

Now, who moved the bathroom? I counted my shuffles, that was at least 20 too many. The good news is, I made it! And, thank goodness, I have a high-boy toilet or I may have wished I had Life Alert. Which, in light of my onset of elders, might not be a bad idea.

I have three days to get it together so I can welcome my guests with a smile and give the appearance that my preparations were done effortlessly. This weekend I completed two extensive shopping trips and one trip to the laundromat with all the bedding and rugs. Discovering my strength isn't what it used to be, I have decided I need a wagon or a forklift for future loading and unloading. At the grocery store the checkout guy asked me if I needed help out. I asked him if it would be possible if that person could come home with me to unload. He gave me one of those are-you-serious looks and that's when I assured him I would bring them back to the store right away. Well, I tried. 

I am running out of time. I need a shot of something or helping hands, whichever is the most effective. Or maybe, just maybe, I will remind myself Rome wasn't built in a day and pry my tired old butt from this chair.

Music...that's what I need! Something fast paced, something that will put  a little pep in my step to help me dance through all of this. Yep, I will put aside the old folks boogie for now and I will definitely rock this joint!


  1. I think you need to slow down and take a meditation break right into a spa day for a massage and then a mani/pedi while your personal assistant continues the preparations.


  2. Just focus, only, on one thing at a time. You will surprise yourself by the end of the day! Sending good vibes your way, peace and love.....jbm

  3. "Who moved the bathroom?" hah! I hate it when that happens. I agree with Anonymous (whoever you are). Take it slow ... baby steps even ... and focus on one thing at a time. Hell, I can't multitask anymore, so I have to focus on one thing at a time.

  4. You don't have to bring those people back right away. Just give them a bus token.

  5. I don't know about you but I'm thinking of moving to Colorado where weed is legal. If I smoke enough I won't care how old I am…or better yet maybe I'll forget.

  6. Breathe, my friend. Everything will get done and if it doesn't, fuck it. It will still be okay. 20 steps to the bathroom, huh? I can make it from my bed to the toilet in 5. Perks of living in a tiny place. Happy Thanksgiving, my friend.


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