Sunday, February 15, 2009

Employment Wanted

Former Marijuana Smuggler

Having successfully completed a 10-year sentence, incident free, for importing 75 tons of marijuana into the United States, I am now seeking a legal and legitimate means to support myself and my family.

Business experience: Owned and operated a successful fishing business -- multi-vessel, one airplane, one island and processing facility. Simultaneously owned and operated a fleet of tractor-trailer trucks conducting business in the western United States.... I also participated in the executive level management of 120 people worldwide in a successful pot-smuggling venture with revenues in excess of $100-million US annually. I took responsibility for my own actions and received a 10-year sentence in the United States while others walk free for their cooperation.

Attributes: I am an expert in all levels of security; I have extensive computer skills, am personable, outgoing, well educated, reliable, clean and sober. I have spoken in schools to thousands of kids and parent groups over the past ten years on the “consequences of choice”, and received public recognition from the RCMP for community service. I am well traveled and speak English, French and Spanish. References available from friends, family and the U.S. District Attorney, etc.

Please direct replies to
Box 375, National Post, Classified
1450 Don Mills, ON, M3B 3R5

This is an actual classified ad as it appeared in The Financial Post in Toronto, Canada, February 23, 2001. The employment seeker received over 600 responses.


  1. How many of the responses were to buy weed? Were any of the responses from Michael Phelps?

  2. hmm compared to the CEO TARP takers I don't know which is better. How about that investor scam run by Madoff? Maybe smuggling (oh I mean importing) is more honest than other scammers. Maybe FEDEX could use him.

  3. Sounds like my ex. :-) Actually, he now has a successful farm water treatment company and imported a bride from Thailand that's 50 years his junior. But, what the heck. Life is for living. hehe

  4. Too funny. I grew up in Don Mills (but don't tell anyone!)


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