Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Wacky Wednesday! High Speed Internet, The Holy Grail

Last Friday afternoon I sat down at my computer to check my email and, lo and behold, I had no Internet service. I checked all my connections, everything appeared to be in order. I picked up the phone and it was dead. Oops, had I paid the bill? Check, the bill had been paid.

I waited a bit, thinking this was just a temporary outage, and tried again. Nope, no service. Around 6 pm I made my way up canyon about five miles to check with my closest neighbor and learned there had been a cable cut. I was reminded of my blogging buddy, dizzblnd over at Soggy Doggy Bloggy, she's a construction customer service rep who handles calls from those looking for underground utilities before they dig. Obviously, in this case, someone forgot to call.

Saturday and Sunday I would just stare at my computer as if I had some type of mind power and the Internet service would miraculosly begin to work. I picked up the phone constantly with hopes of a dial tone. I paced, I wrung my hands, I was King Arthur in search of the Holy Grail.

GOD:  Arthur!  Arthur, King of the Britons!  Oh, don't grovel!  If
there's one thing I can't stand, it's people groveling.
ARTHUR: Sorry--
GOD: And don't apologize. Every time I try to talk to someone it's
"sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy". What are you
doing now!?
ARTHUR: I'm averting my eyes, oh Lord.
GOD: Well, don't. It's like those miserable Psalms-- they're so
depressing. Now knock it off!
ARTHUR: Yes, Lord.
GOD: Right! Arthur, King of the Britons -- your Knights of the Round
Table shall have a task to make them an example in these dark times.
ARTHUR: Good idea, oh Lord!
GOD: 'Course it's a good idea! Behold! Arthur, this is the Holy
Grail. Look well, Arthur, for it is your sacred task to seek
this Grail. That is your purpose, Arthur -- the Quest for the
Holy Grail.
ARTHUR: A blessing!
LAUNCELOT: A blessing from the Lord!
GALAHAD: God be praised!

Early Monday morning I drove the 45 minutes down the rocky road, passing wild burros and cattle along the way, to the highway where I have cell service to call the small independent phone company that services my area. I was told it was a major cable cut and it would be Tuesday or Wednesday before my service was up and running again. My heart sunk as I thought of all the unanswered emails and my neglected blogs - aarrgghh! It will take me days just to catch up.

Less than an half-hour ago I picked up the phone and, voila!, I have my holy grail - my high speed internet has been restored. Amen.


  1. I can't think of anything worse than being without internet for so many days. I can live without the phone and even cable but I need the internet. I'm glad everything is back up and running.

  2. I would have to hide out at Best Buy or the library for the intervening time. I wouldn't know what to do without my preciousssss...

  3. That sounds excruciating! And...I used to know that MP and the HG by heart - an extremely great movie! :)

  4. Welcome back! I was wondering what happened.. Go find those cursed people who cut the million dollar FIBER OPTIC line that they got fined heavily for cutting and kick their ass and tattoo "811" on their foreheads so that they wont ever forget to call before they dig again! Thanks for the love and welcome back to the "real" world! Didja see your Mad Lib?

  5. My power went out once and I couldn't do any push-ups because I couldn't turn on the Wii Fit. I use a similar excuse now but it's just that the Wii is too hard to turn on.

  6. OMG, I can't imagine being without Internet for that long. I'd have to be sedated.

  7. Wow. You have my respect for going that long without the Internet and not losing your sanity. if I'd been in that position, by Sunday I would've been going completely insane and/or inflicting death upon the phone company.

  8. What torture! It's times like that when we find out just how addicted we are. I had one day - went nuts and cleaned the house like a madwoman. It was disgusting and I hope not to do that again, haha!

  9. I hate when that happens! It's like being constipated. Yep. You know you have to do it... You want to do it, but it just won't play the game.

  10. I've actually had the cable company cut the line before. They were burying one person's line and ended up cutting everyone else's lines that were already buried. Brilliant, taking out a whole street just so one person doesn't have to trip over the orange cord in the front yard anymore.

  11. Wondered where you wandered off to... At least it wasn't the cable company!

  12. Ha ha ha ha ha. Damn, Me-Me! I feel for ya but don't ya have any other entertainment at your place to keep ya occupied? If I had known you were bored, I could have sent ya my collection of midget porn to watch. Anyhoo, glad your back. I just got back myself, from my brain fart disease. Tally Ho!


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