1. Bill Gates is a very rich man today.....and do you want to know why? This answer is one word: versions.
2. Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only way less filling.
3. I want a pit crew.....I hate the procedure I currently go through when I have car problems.
4. The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins.
5. Never lick a steak knife.
6. You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
7. What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four to seven beers.
8. Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer operation that never pays a nickel in taxes.
9. Escargot is French for fat crawling bag of phlegm.
10. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".
Those are too funny. I like 'em!
ReplyDeleteI love Dave Barry. I think I actually love everyone named Dave. There's Letterman and the Wendy's guy...I really think I may be on to something here.
ReplyDeleteDave Barry is one of the best!
ReplyDelete#9 made me throw up a little
Yep, Dave's the man. You're the woman, Me-Me, but Dave is the man.
ReplyDeleteNumber 6 ... I'm living the dream.
ReplyDeleteNumber 9 had me rolling!!
ReplyDeleteYou should also never lick a table saw. Just saying.
ReplyDeleteI thought Dave Barry was the best comedic novelist. And then I read Tim Dorsey and Carl Hiaasen.
ReplyDeleteAs for the fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness" I just have to say one thing . . . blogging.
toooooooooo funny...lol
ReplyDeleteI love Dave Barry. And Chris, blogging is my hobby...I do not need to be tagged with yet another mental illness:)
ReplyDelete