1. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the "escape" key.
2. Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown. BUT, it takes only four muscles to extend your arm and smack that asshole upside the head.
3. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
4. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from mental illness. Think of your three best friends - if they're okay, then it's you.
5. The easiest way of finding something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
6. Some people are like Slinkies.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but giggle when you see one tumble down the stairs.
7. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
8. In the 60's people took acid to make the world look weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make the world look normal.
9. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away and you have their shoes.
11. Just remember.....if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
Tomorrow: Put on your cowboy boots, saddle up and join me for my leg of the journey - Humor Bloggers Dot Com Virtual Road Trip - Phoenix, AZ.