After another long day of doing nothing, I decided to go over to eBay to take a look at some of the latest and greatest ideas. I entered "Halloween" and up popped the usual listings for costumes and decorations. Then I saw the photo for an ad that looked like jack-o-lantern suckers. I clicked and here's what I found.
Halloween Condom Novelty Funny Party Idea $16.95
This condom
would make the perfect Halloween party gift for adults. It is playfully decorated to look like a jack-o-lantern. The condom is manufactured by Global Protection and can be used for safe sex just like any other condom. Makes a great holiday party favor!Note: Pack size is number of condoms shipped. (i.e. 12 pack is 12 condoms). We have hundreds of thousands of condoms in stock so we can't guarantee the expiration received. We can say we order all items manufacturer direct and try our best to ensure items expire no sooner than 2 years from the date of purchase.
Well, at least they specified this was for adults. Can you imagine little Willy coming home with a bag full of condoms? "Look, Mommy, these suckers are really balloons!"
It's the perfect treat to accompany your favorite pick up line. "Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?" What an icebreaker! Once you hand over this treat, you're sure to be knocking the frost off the pumpkin.
Well....kids do start early these days...here little boy..have a treat, and remember to practice safe sex. That's a house that would get lots of visitors!
ReplyDeleteI'd rather have the candy corns.
ReplyDeleteAt least I'd use them.
@ Lee - Now, that's a positive spin. Maybe I'll order up a few dozen.
ReplyDelete@ moooooog - Oh, okay, candy corn it is.
Is "candle" a new euphemism for penis? If so, then "Put your candle in a Jack-O-Lantern" would be a great tag line for this idiotic product.
ReplyDeleteWhat would make this a non-idiotic product would be to have the end of the condom actually look like a Jack-O-Lantern with little LED lights blinking behind the eyes.
To make this an "Oh Dear God No!" product would be to have the end of the condom look like a pumpkin and each wrapper comes with a little carving knife.
Do they glow in the dark? If so, YIKES!
ReplyDeleteIf I needed condoms these days, I'd probably buy these just for the novelty.
ReplyDeleteDo you have any more pickup lines like that? The ones I have (primarily: "Please;" "Aw, come on, please;" and "I'm not as ugly when I'm naked. Honest.") don't work very well. Or at all. If you can't suggest a good stock of guaranteed-to-work pickup lines, I'll pass on the condoms. I don't want to waste my money.
ReplyDeleteSpending $17 to make my peeps terrifying seems counterproductive.
ReplyDeleteLook like lollipops. I suggest they be handed out to females and tasted first.
ReplyDeleteHey they come with a stick in them. No not THAT stick, a pointy stick sure to make for great fun 9 months down the road. Now that's scary!
ReplyDeleteNo guarantee on the expiration date? That's a little frightening ladies!
ReplyDeleteI'll take a milky way.
These comments are almost as funny as your post!
ReplyDeleteThat's it! I'm giving out condoms to the trick-or-treaters this year!
ReplyDeleteI'm a first time visitor to your blog. I saw a link on Reforming Geek's site and decided to click-through.
ReplyDeleteInteresting topic. I've been getting weirded out by eBay this week. This is yet another example of some of the strange auctions I have come across.
That is too funny.They would make good gag gifts.I'm thinking of who I came give them to.
ReplyDeletedo they taste like orange flavor and licorice flavor?
ReplyDeleteHee hee these fall in the line of the silly glow in the dark ones for me. Hubby would think I was on drugs or something if I came at him with one of those. Funny post.
ReplyDeleteI'm picturing Charlie Brown in his ghost-with-eleven-eyeholes costume...
ReplyDelete"I got a condom-pop."
Most women are scared enough by the penis, and rightly so. I'm not sure any wanker needs eyes, a nose and teeth to make it even more frightening.
ReplyDelete