Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Off The Top Of My Head

It's happened to everyone of us, to men and women alike. An injustice we probably have experienced more than once in our lives. It's regrettable. It's embarrassing. It makes you want to hide, lie to your friends and even take a sick day.

What is this injustice?

The bad haircut!

We make the appointment or walk-in on a whim. We take a seat in a chair similar to the chair at the dentist's office. We are at the mercy of a man or woman with a pair of scissors. They spin you around to where you cannot see. Snip, snip here - snip, snip there. You watch what was to be "only a trim" fall onto the floor. You wait with nervous anticipation.

You are at the hands of someone that may be having a bad day. Or they could have some weird perception of what really looks good on top of your head. You cringe as they gasp under their breath. More hair seems to fall onto the floor than you had expressed in an attempt to cover up the mistake. You begin to rationalize.

They begin to style your new cut. Loads of different products are applied which smell great individually, but now your hair smells like a rotting fruit salad. They comb, blow-dry, brush, and curl. They get front and center, the last lock is in place. Finally, the finishing spray.

Just before they spin you around, you're aware of other stylists and patrons trying not to notice. Your heart starts to beat faster, your breath is short. It's like coming up on a car accident. You know you shouldn't look, but this time - it's you. Then you hear those words, "So how do you like it?"

Your eyes widen, you squirm in your seat. You even lean forward to take a closer look. You look at yourself at different angles. The mirror is held for you to take a look at the back of your head. As you try to compose yourself, you smile nervously, then you answer, "It's okay, it's fine". But, what you are really thinking is, "Shit!, I look like Kate Gosselin".

The plastic cape, that holds what used to be your hair, is removed. Your reach for your wallet remembering that their scissors are still within reach. Your hand over their fee plus you even give them a tip. You walk quickly to your car and stare at yourself in the rear view mirror. You sigh and try to calm yourself by thinking, "It'll grow back, it's only hair."

For more injustice, tune in to HBDC Anti-Injustice Campaign.


  1. Oh, holy crap! And how about when you go for an eyebrow wax and the chick leaves you with half an eyebrow? She smiles and says "you like? Looks beautiful."
    I'm not good at drawing eyebrows on my face, my line always goes wonky!

  2. My mother who is 65 or some shit is a hairdresser.

    She was unavailable to give me a haircut ONCE in the past 35 years.

    I went to Supercuts.

    Worst 8 bucks I've ever spent.

    I have no idea what I'm going to do when my mother kicks the bucket...but I'm scared.

  3. Now that is a bad haircut, but you can tell by the look on his face that he thinks he looks great...scary. Been there and am going to my SECOND appointment with the new guy to get it fixed. Yes, it was so bad it is taking TWO appointments.

  4. I used to get my hair cut by this woman who did a good job, but only because I always said no to what she wanted to do...specifically, give me a feathered mullet. Gotta admit, I would've looked great at the monster truck rally...

  5. When I was a kid I'd get a haircut every two weeks. I'd always tell the barber "long back and sides, nothing off the top" and I'd always come away trimmed within an inch of my life. I could never figure out why the barber always got it wrong. Years later I learned from my Dad that as soon as I left the house to walk to the barber shop, he'd call with his instructions. Thanks Dad. And thanks, Me-Me for making me think back.

  6. you are right, we have all had those cuts, and there's nothing you can do about it after the fact. have a great day!

  7. Number one; never get your hair cut on a whim or as a walk in.
    Number two: it's true; we still tip them even if they've screwed us over. WHY????

  8. Oh my hair!

    This was so spot on and hilarious!

    AND... where can I get me a Kate Gosselin wig?

    I can't stand her as a reality princess, but I want that hair!

    hee hee hee

  9. @ Buggys - LOL! "You like?" Oh gosh, I've never had that happen. I can't drqw either.

    @ moooooog - Only 8 bucks? Well, you get what you pay for.

    @ Lee - I've gone for the "fix" do. Only problem was, I went back to the SAME person.

    @ YogaforCynics - Yeehaw! I think I saw you the other night at WalMart. Isn't that where all the mullet wearers go?

    @ dufus - My mom would do the same thing. And there's absolutely nothing you can say, you just have to live with it.

    @ PJ - No kidding. I once got a bad color job that, fortunately, toned down after 2 weeks. Good thing, I was running out of scarf ideas.

    @ mama-face - I agree. And why do we tip for bad service? I think it's because they are standing there holding scissors.

    @ Quirky - I think that cut would look great on you....tell me, are you going blond too?

  10. My mom cut our hair when we were kids -- oooh, some of the pictures... THEN she went to hairdressing school when I was in highschool and insisted that I be her 'model' whenever she needed one; I looked a lot like Mary Tyler Moore in high school, which would have been okay had everyone else not been going more for Jennifer Beals...

  11. any haircut is a bad haircut, just leave me alone.

  12. Happens to me on a regular basis which is precisely one reason I only do a haircut about every 3 months. Kate Gosselin is hot! A bitch, but a hot one!

  13. I'm going to grow my hair out like Crystal Gail. Or shave it and get a wig. I'm tired of the bad cuts!

  14. I don't get my hair cut but twice a year. Since it's long it is really hard to mess up but last time I got a cut my friend who cuts my hair decided to take my bangs back farther on my head. It's not Kate Gossilin but it is something I have to use all sorts of pins to fix each morning.

    As for waxing, once I got my eyebrows waxed and the lady who did it dropped a dollop of wax in my hair. She just looked at me, tried to brush it out which really made it sink in more and then asked me for my credit card. This is why I look like Andy Rooney now. I had to cut about 8 inches of my hair off to get the wax out. Arhg!!!

  15. @ Venom - I hear ya. My mom gave me a home perm and accidentally used spray starch to hold the set (as if it needed any). She eventually took me to the beauty parlor to get it comb out.

    @ Nooter - Okay, okay!

    @ Don - Yep, it happens to the best of us. Kate is ready to date! Are you?

    @ kys - Oh, just let it grow. Wigs can be troublesome and uncomfortable.

    @ Jen - I remember the last time you got it cut - yikes!

  16. And that's why I cut my own hair!

  17. This was hysterical!!! Love the comments too! We really DO have a "thing" about our hair don't we? I've had so many bad ones but the last one (2 yrs ago) the gal cut my bangs to one half inch - I'm serious! It was ridiculous - and SOOO embarrassing. I took to wearing hats for weeks until it grew out. Yes, thank God it's not a permanent hair do, eh?

  18. Oh no. That brings back such painful memories. I have an area at the base of my skull that is super thick and very straight. The rest of it has weird waves running through it. When I was in 7th grade, my mom took me to her friend's house to get my haircut. It was the most awful haircut I've ever had. I looked liked Farrah Fawcett had stuck her finger in the light socket. It was horrible in school the next day.

  19. Ah... reminds me of the day I left the hair salon with half a head shaved and hair down to my boobs on the other side.
    Will never tell the stylist to "be creative" again.


  20. Oh, my worst was COLOR. My hairdresser turned my locks a color not found in nature. Okay... maybe on an eggplant.

    The worst part? I drove a plum colored car at the time. And my son said when he first saw me, "Cool, mom! Your hair matches the car now!"

    Total embarrassment. (and yes, I tipped.)

  21. @ Grace - Yeah, I do that between the one or two cuts I get a year. Sometimes it looks pretty good.

    @ suZen - LOL! What was she trying to give you - the Betty Paige look?

    @ Geek Girl - I know what you mean. There were a few times that I walked around school hoping no one would notice my bad haircut.

    @ Lady's Lounge - Whoa! Now, that is creative! I bet she was very proud of herself.

    @ Midwest Mom - Eggplant? You had an eggplant colored van? LOL!

  22. There's nothing we follically-challenged folks hate more than people bitching about their hair. NO DAY WITH HAIR IS A BAD HAIR DAY, PEOPLE!

  23. I can still remember breaking into tears once when my dad took me to his barber made me get butchered. I won't do it next month, though, and that's a promise!

  24. I was cracking up reading all the comments and your post especially since I have a Cosmetology license and have fixed some of those bad haircuts, but I also gave a few of my own starting out and my biggest fear of having the guard flip off my clippers actually happened once, but thankfully that was on the head of someone that loves me and didn't want to kill me because of it.

  25. @ Knucklehead - I feel your pain.

    @ MikeWJ - LOL! May you'll get a lillipop if you sit really still.

    @ Jude - Yikes!!! I didn't know about the guard on the scissors.....

  26. It wasn't a guard on my shears, it was my clippers that I use for a man's haircut, he ended up looking like Carl from Swingblade because I had to blend it. Wasn't quite the look we were going for, still makes me chuckle though.


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