Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Quotable: W. C. Fields

Fields’s screen character was often fond of alcohol and this trait has become part of the Fields legend. In his younger days as a juggler, Fields himself never drank, because he didn’t want to impair his functions while performing. The loneliness of his constant touring and traveling, however, compelled Fields to keep liquor on hand for fellow performers, so he could invite them to his dressing room for companionship and cocktails. Only then did Fields cultivate a fondness for alcohol. ---Wikipedia

1. I can't stand water because of the things fish do in it.

2. I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

3. No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

4. If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

5. Never give a sucker an even break.

6. Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

7. There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.

8. Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.

9. A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

10. Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.

11. Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

12. Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.

13. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.


  1. If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

    Certainly words I've lived by...

  2. Fields was a noted athiest. When he was seen reading a bible in hospital during his last weeks a friend asked him why and he responded, "I'm looking for loopholes."

  3. Heh heh heh. These are all great, but I gotta admit the last one really got me smiling.

    And another LOL to Joel's comment. Loopholes! hee hee

  4. Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. Well, you've sure done that for me, although on the whole I'd rather be in Philadelphia.

  5. Happy New Year my little chick a dee!

  6. They are all gems. I keep a small snake in my purse. Oh, wait, that belongs to my ex husband.

  7. @ Dr. Jay - That has been my motto for years. It's a goodie for sure.

    @ Joel - Ahahahaha...love it!

    @ Quirky - I like the last one too, so true.

    @ Don - Yep, cheers...*clink, clink*.

    @ Dufus - I know exactly the quote you are referring to about Philadelphia.

    @ Barbra - Thank you, and a very happy new year to you too. Great to see you here!

    @ Jen - Yikes, snakes!!!

    @ Lee - Mine too. It's my justification for quitting.

  8. I carried a snake for years, then I divorced him. Plenty of attitude in my pocket too!

  9. People have such a sugar-coated view of the past that it's hard to believe that such great cynicism and wit lived in your great-grandmother's era! And unlike today's cynics, Fields had brilliance.

  10. This post brings to mind my all-time favorite W.C. Fields' quote, and one of my most favorite quotes ever:

    Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

  11. I recently found out that Lou Holtz, who is the former head football coach of Arkansas, Notre Dame and South Carolina, never drinks water. I wonder if it is for the same reason as Mr. Fields?

  12. Loved them all!! May consider #13

  13. Loved these - but I took #1 seriously for years - I didn't hate water but I hated the thought of eating fish since they LIVE in their own toilets!


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