Monday, April 12, 2010

Classifieds: Help Wanted

Finding a job that actually pays you to get out of bed each morning is becoming more and more difficult to find, especially in an area which has one of the highest unemployment rates in the country.

While perusing my usual sources for employment ads yesterday, I ran across this one.....


Man-Servant Needed

Look, I'll cut to the chase. I just need some help around my house.

Duties of a man-servant include, but are not limited to the following:
- Daily trash removal
- Back rubs
- Daily cleaning of litter boxes
- Sponge baths
- Preparation of lights meals and snacks
- Gratuitous compliments about how great I look in my penguin pajamas

In addition, a man-servant will have to be able to handle the following:
- Watching me dance around (without pants on) to show tunes
- Wearing a bedazzled loincloth while performing chores
- Occasional sexual harassment
- The sound of a whip cracking

Salary is negotiable and bonuses are available depending on how special you've made me feel by the end of the day.

If you're interested, please contact me as soon as possible. I'll need to fit you for the loincloth and then bedazzle it by hand before you can start.

Any takers?

37 comments:

  1. Shoosh...I can't bleieve they printed that in YOUR paper too. I only paid for three publications....

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  2. Um....I think Hubby just responded to that ad.

    Oops.

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  3. Be careful with the bedazzles...I broke a nail just yesterday when I was bedazzling my husband's.....

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  4. Are they asking for references? I can get them if necessary.

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  5. I'd send you my man servant, but well, you know...
    Let us know how many applicants you get for the job. There should be quite a lot. Most men love being bedazzled.

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  6. Oh, wait a minute...that wasn't YOU???

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  7. You HAD ME until I read that you'd "bedazzle" the loincloth.

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  8. heeh...wow...ummm...
    Where did you see this employment advertisement?? totally cracked me up...

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  9. Wow! Time for me to put in my advertisement...LOL

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  10. WOW....

    As far as the unemployment issue I hear you on that. I graduate in a few months and I am afraid I won't find a job. When I started school teaching was the #5 growing job and now teachers are being laid off left and right. I am thinking of moving out of Arizona when I graduate.

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  11. That's a great idea! Why haven't I thought of that? I've always just kidnapped my man-servants off the street, and it can be a real hassle.

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  12. I could send my husband, she can even have him for free :)

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  13. Haaaaa..hey, what am I laughing about? I do all of this for free!

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  14. As long as it is YOU dancing around to show tunes! Don't know too many man servants you would want who danced around to show tunes! On second thought, that might not be a bad idea either! ;)

    I know it is kind of late in the day for a reminder, but please remember that my vintage photo caption contest started back up today!

    Thanks!

    Malisa

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  15. You are ridiculous! And penguin pajamas? LOL

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  16. Ok, I almost fell for it until I saw the part about the penguin pajamas. That's when I knew it was fake.

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  17. I need me one of those man servants. I wouldn't pay him though. Not since I have been doing the job for free.

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  18. May I inquire as to the remuneration package?

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  19. I'd love to oblige, but I'm a happily married man. Sorry, Margo...this is you, you're talking about, right? :)

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  20. This sounds like such a fun job! Especially the bedazzled loin cloth! I love wearing bedazzled loin cloths while I clean the bathtub!

    Oh shit, did I just say that out loud?

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  21. That's so noble of you, Me-me... doing your part to conquer unemployment!

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  22. Sounds like the perfect ad to me! (((HUGS)))

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  23. If room and board is included I'm really not opposed to being a sugar mama's pool boy. The cats have got to go though...

    We can get a dog.

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  24. HAHA Penguin pajamas? Wow. I need to find one of those.
    As for the ad, I am not taking it. Bribing me with Candies and/or chocolates should work though...:)

    Have a good day!

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  25. Can I bring my own bedazzled loincloth?

    I'm pretty picky.

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  26. sponge baths? that just makes me laugh. I do not know why. :-)

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  27. Can I plagarize that ad? I want one of those.

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  28. What a great concept! I'm also laughing at what Ziva said.

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  29. LOL! What a great idea. Sign me up for one when they become available.

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  30. There's that old hairy dude that lives under the bridge in town. He might be interested. His interests are cackling, pooping in public and washing your family pet with his tongue. If you want, I can put in a good word for ya. :-)

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  31. Sounds like a job right up my alley!!! I was wondering though there is actually a bonus besides the fact that you will be wearing penguin PJ's.??? Is it possible to be paid under the table?

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  32. what city was this in? i'd be perfect for this job.

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  33. Hi, good snap & nice blog, i will visit ur blog regularly, i think u should go for this link to increase visitor. BTW keep posting & happy blogging.

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  34. I suppose you've filled this position already so if you had who came in 2nd (ahem) during interviews, please send 'em over!
    Swati

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