Monday, April 5, 2010

Flying The Friendly Skies

I don't know about you, but I get a lot of emails forwarded to me from friends who think I might want to publish them on my blog. To be honest, most of those emails aren't funny at all. In fact, they border on being stupid or so old of a joke you would have been living in a block of ice for the past 100 years not to have ever heard it. However, a friend did forward something to me which was funny and I hadn't heard before. So, without further ado, here goes.....

Now and then, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight safety presentation and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some of the better ones that are flying around the web:



1. Pilot: "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land.


2. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money more than Southwest Airlines."

3. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. Whoa!"

4. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."

5. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to Chicago. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more."

6. After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

7. From the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately none of them are on this flight."

8. Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Airways."

After reading through these I was reminded why I'd rather take the train. Have a great day!

27 comments:

  1. Humor goes a long way in this journey we call life...

    Damn. That was profound. What the hell was in my coffee this morning?

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  2. I guess a sense of humor is necessary when you're at 30,000 feet

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  3. I do appreciate a flight attendant or pilot with a sense of humor. It sort of makes the unbearable idea of defying all logic and gravity with 100 other rude humans just a little tolerable...
    ***Ally

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  4. I appreciate humor when I'm flying---I hate flying and so if someone can make me laugh and leave a little of my anxiety behind, I'm all for it! These are so hilarious!

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  5. I don't mind flying but if there is thunder and lighteneing forecasted I PANIC.
    Yvonne.

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  6. LMAO! I was going from NY to AZ and the flight attendant said If our flight from NY to AZ becomes a cruise your seats turn into floating devises" LOL! Funny except there is no water between the 2 states that a plane can land in.

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  7. A little humor always helps...unless it's the pilot's famous last words. I too prefer the train.

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  8. I love it when they mix things up occasionally on those announcements! It makes you pay attention!

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  9. That was hilarious. Well-deserved tweet. Years ago, I flew for business on United Airlines. I think. Please excuse memory loss, but the stewardess said to the passengers, something to the effect of, "Look out the window and make sure everything looks okay."

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  10. Well thanks a lot. I'm flying again next week and now I'm nervous! LOL

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  11. I flew SOUTHWEST a few years ago, and the crew were ON A ROLL !

    They have the humor down to a SCIENCE !

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  12. Why is it their seat cushions can be used as flotation devices?. It might be better if they could be used as parachutes!

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  13. Good Stuff, Margo!
    Here is one more to add to your list:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9lZV_828OA

    Cheers!

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  14. Cool chunks of airplane/airline humor going on here. Most made me laugh. a few had me scratching my head until I finally reached by brain and then I picked at that until I had nuthin' left. Dang airplane jokes. Now I have no brain. Oh well, at least I didn't lose much.

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  15. There are several airlines that are encouraged to be humorous during flights. I prefer those airlines. This was good stuff!

    The first one is my favorite. Stay inside the plane! :D

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  16. This was great! Whenever I fly, I'm too busy making sure the plane doesn't crash to actually pay attention to the jokes. Yes, I know I can't actually keep the plane in the air, but it can't hurt to try, right?

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  17. A great post, thank you. By publishing your friend's airline jokes, you have performed the valuable service of humanizing in-flight airline employees. I assumed tests weeded out anyone with a sense of humor, but now I see a few jokesters managed to give the slip to anti-humor security.

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  18. I thought these were very funny..of course I don't fly so it is much easier to appreciate the humor(-:

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  19. I've never had a fun filled sarcastic pilot on any of my flights. They usually only talk when they say we are approaching the airport or are going down in a corn field.

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  20. Nice. These were really funny. I had once scared my aunt during a flight. The turbulence, the possibility of the plane doing a 360 and an emergency landing... LOL

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  21. We had a steward like that on a flight once. It was one of our best flights ever. We laughed the whole way. Until the plane landed. Upside down. In a field. On fire. I still miss that guy.

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  22. refreshingly funny :) definitely a smile inducer...

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  23. Southwest has the best jokesters! Laughing never hurts and these are very funny.

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  24. I flew Southwest a month or two ago and the male flight attendant must have sang 6 songs during a four hour flight. And the best part about it all was that he was not even a good singer! The moans every time he came on the intercom had me rolling. I now love Southwest!

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  25. I was reminded of how much I love Southwest just yesterday. Delta charged me $50.00 to change my flight (it would have been $150 except I was within 3 hours of blast-off). I changed a Southwest flight multiple times and was never charged a fee.

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