1. Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
2. I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
3. I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.'
4. In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
5. It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
6. It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
7. Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
8. Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
9. To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
10. What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
11. When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
12. Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
13. It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
