Friday, April 3, 2009
Quotable: Steven Wright
1. Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
2. What's another word for Thesaurus?
3. When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
4. Cross country skiing is great, if you live in a small country.
5. Curiosity killed the cat, but for awhile I was a suspect.
6. Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.
7. All those that believe in psychokinesis - raise my hand.
8. If God dropped acid, would he see people?
9. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
10. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
11. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
12. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
13. A fool and his money are soon partying.
14. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
15. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.