Offer "Vince" Shlomi has served his time. Vince, you'll remember, was the TV pitchman for that product no household could be without, Shamwow. He had been serving time for assault and battery charges and possession of crystal methamphetamine. Whether or not Vince returns to television remains to be seen.Humor Bloggers Dot Com held a Mr. Shamwow Carnival in honor of Vince's birthday last April. Now, to honor his release from jail, I am re-posting my tribute. Enjoy!
Ode To Vince, The Poem
by The Screaming Me-Me!!!
Everyone everywhere knows of Vince
He’s the one that tries to convince
Each and every household with TVs
That we really must have one of these!
It’s not a towel or a rag you see
It’s a magical cloth from Germany
Soaking up its weight in cola and wine
Look how that counter top begins to shine!
Now, Vince isn’t really much of a looker
He wanted a woman, so he bought a hooker
She bit his tongue, oh what a bloody mess
There was blood, even on the hooker’s dress!
Now Vince sits, I hear he’s doing time
His once golden voice isn’t worth a dime
Don’t dare ask me where, when or how
Who will now sell the magical ShamWow?
He’s the one that tries to convince
Each and every household with TVs
That we really must have one of these!
It’s not a towel or a rag you see
It’s a magical cloth from Germany
Soaking up its weight in cola and wine
Look how that counter top begins to shine!
Now, Vince isn’t really much of a looker
He wanted a woman, so he bought a hooker
She bit his tongue, oh what a bloody mess
There was blood, even on the hooker’s dress!
Now Vince sits, I hear he’s doing time
His once golden voice isn’t worth a dime
Don’t dare ask me where, when or how
Who will now sell the magical ShamWow?
Reminder: There's still time for you to Caption This! Click on over and join the fun.
Laughing!! Love that poem. Glad you reposted, because I missed it the first time around.
ReplyDeleteAn ode to one of the greats of shammery;
ReplyDeleteHow fitting that ...
Damn, I was going to try to write my own poem in response to your ode but the only word that I could think of to rhyme with "shammery" (the practice of shamming people) was mammary and I wasn't sure how you would feel about me going off in that direction.
Vince, Vince...you are the man now what with Billy gone via the crack method.
ReplyDelete@ Lee - Glad you caught it this time around. Vince...what a guy!
ReplyDelete@ Joel - Only you. Go ahead, leave your limerick, we await your shammery.
@ Don - What is it with pitchmen and their addictions? Must be the only way they can be "high" on their products.
A Piece of literary genius no doubt! I don't think he'll be able to replace the infamous Billy though!
ReplyDelete@Me-Me - Um, I don't think so. I'm way too shy. Plus, I was lying about coming up with a poem. I'm poetically challenged.
ReplyDelete@ Buggys - Why, thank you! (MMM takes a bow.)
ReplyDelete@ Joel - I see, well....okay then.
All I can say is shamWOW! Well done!
ReplyDeleteI've just passed on a Superior Scribbler Award to you. Drop by and pick it up. Use it to hold off escaped TV pitchmen
ReplyDelete"He wanted a woman, so he bought a hooker"
ReplyDeleteIs that what they call "rent-to-own"?
It made me chuckle.
Cheers M!