Wacky Wednesday! New Year Celebration

You know you are drunk when…

You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

You promise the pizza delivery guy $40 to pick up a 12-pack on the way with your delivery.

You can focus much better with one eye closed.

You are drinking directly from the champagne fountain.

You fall off the floor.

Your key doesn’t fit your neighbor’s door – thankfully.

You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

You’re still dancing long after the band stopped playing.

You’ve stopped putting paper on the nasty toilet seat.

You make out with your friend’s mom.

Now, for some interactive fun, add to the list in “comments” below!
You know you are drunk when __________.

Be safe and have a happy New Year!!!

New Year Resolutions 2009

I promise -- honestly...

I will not sit in my living room all day in my nightgown. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.

I will no longer waste my time reliving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.

I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.

I will brush my teeth with the bristle end of the brush.

Assure my lawyer that I will never again show up drunk at my DUI hearing.

I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.

I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.

I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard -- I'm not a clock watcher.

I will read the manual... no more throwing it out the window.

I will think of a password other than "password."

I will not tell the same old story at every get together -- boring.

I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine.

I will be more imaginative.