Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Excuse Me, Am I Annoying You?



Is there someone that just annoys the hell out of you? Maybe a co-worker, a neighbor, a relative or a perfect stranger? Well, my friends, it's time for revenge. Today I'm giving you the ammunition to fight back.

1. Never make eye contact.

2. Never break eye contact. 

3. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy".

4. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think".

5. Signal a conversation is over by clamping your hands to your ears.

6. Follow a few paces behind someone and spray everything they touch with Lysol.

7. While traveling in the right lane, leave your left turn signal on.

8. Honk and wave at strangers.

9. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

10. only type in lowercase.

11. dont use any punctuation either

12. Tie jingle bells to you clothes.

13. Wear your pants backwards.

14. Pretend your computer mouse is a CB radio and talk into it.

15. Stand over someone's shoulder and mumble as they read.

16. Ask people what gender they are.

17. Beep when a large person backs up.

18. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at cars passing by to see if they slow down.

19. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

20. Leave your favorite annoyance below.


14 comments:

  1. 21. Asking a woman if she's pregnant, or when the baby is due, when they are actually just fat.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ha! Funny. I always like to whistle really loudly or sing.

    I'm not sure if it's annoying to others, but I like it.

    heh heh

    ReplyDelete
  3. Greet every statement someone makes to you by shaking your head and chuckling.

    ReplyDelete
  4. In this day and age, number 16 isn't that much of a laughing matter.

    Sometimes, you can't be too sure. o,o

    ReplyDelete
  5. If someone is tailgating me, I love to smile and wave maniacally at them. You can see the look of uncertainty for just a second.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm starting a new way to blow off steam. go to the blogs of sploggers and leave your own ad and comments on stories on items on your blog and links back to your blog, without mentioning them at all, or dropping a card on their ec widget it they are ecr's. blow their comments up. sometimes In a foreign language. that's really fun. it's called Blog Dicking.

    ReplyDelete
  7. When someone is behind you in traffic and honking about you not pulling out fast enough, put your car in reverse! This calms them very quickly! Or maybe they are too busy wetting themselves. Either way, they stop honking!

    ReplyDelete
  8. What are your thoughts on turning to the person who is annoying you and calmly, cooly, annointing him or her with a good swift kick to the groin? Or is that going overboard? And if you don't think it's going overboard, do you have any get out of jail free cards you can spare?

    Not that I'm proposing doing it myself; I'm a pacifist. But I like to dream.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Dim wit fathers who think they have a right to sit parked in the Kiss and Go sign at school - dick heads!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Holy shit, me-me. MY post today is about shit I do to annoy my family!

    Coincidence?

    Yeah, probably.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Tell someone they look sick. Within 24 hours they will be.

    ReplyDelete
  12. SECOND TIME I HAVE SEEN THIS AND IT STILL MAKES ME LAUGH! (ENOUGH CAPS FOR YOU?)

    ReplyDelete
  13. those are great and i have just the person to try some of them out on! mmwwwaaahhhhh...thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  14. i dont know about you but this annoys everyone i know...
    1. constantly asking and arguing for something you know you cannot have
    2. constantly telling people to shut up when you are being the loudest
    3. nonstop talking about yourself

    ReplyDelete

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