How timely, it's Halloween week and WalMart has announced they are now selling caskets and urns. Their online store offers a variety of coffins and vessels to meet your or your loved one's needs. (Not available in stores, you won't be able to try it before you buy it.) With the exception of the one pictured here, they sell 14 coffins priced under $2,000. What savings!
WalMart has a casket style for everyone - the Lady de Guadalupe model, Mom Remembered, Dad Remembered and the Executive Privilege model just to name a few.
As I searched their website, I noticed there is a "Q&A" section. Here's an sample of actual questions asked by their shoppers.
Q: Does this casket or others come in a larger size, i.e. length, width to accommodate a person?
A: All our caskets are standard size and accommodate most people. However, if you mean a 'larger' person we have three (3) casket models that are built extra wide with four (4) extra inches of interior width. Please look at our Royal Star (2 versions) or the Regal Extra Wide.
Great! This will save the embarrassment of having to be squeezed into a coffin due to the middle-age spread.
Q: I received a casket today and it does not seal. Is the casket supposed to seal?
A: The casket you ordered is gasketed and has a rubber seal. The gasket seals the casket where the lid comes down and closes. However, no casket, including the one you ordered, is air tight or completely sealed.
Well, now this explains how the un-dead are able to escape.
I guess my only question would be, "Is this product offered on the lay-a-way plan?"
I also noticed there is a "Rate and Review" section. I suppose there is a questionnaire included with the purchase and it's eventually received by WalMart from the world beyond. I imagine a completed survey may look something like this.
1. Is this your first purchase of one of our caskets?
Yes, and my last.
2. How would you rate the casket's overall performance?
Well, I am concerned about the air leaks; it's drafty, even at 6 feet under.
3. Are you satisfied with your casket?
Sure, it's a comfortable fit and the lining is divine.
4. Would you recommend our caskets to a friend?
Absolutely, I'm sure my friends are dying to try one!
Thank you WalMart! It's good to know, even in the afterlife, we are still saving!
Now, pop on over to Humor Bloggers Dot Com for more of the Halloween Humor Carnival.