Tuesday, December 1, 2009

The Fractured ABC's Of Christmas - A

Welcome! In case you missed the announcement yesterday, today begins a 26-day series of The Fractured ABC's of Christmas. Yeah, I know what you're thinking, the ABC's have been and are being done. Hopefully, this new spin I have planned for an overdone idea will hold your interest through Christmas. In fact, if you have any suggestions for a particular letter, please leave those in the comments.

On with the show.....

A is for Asshole
With opinions not so bright
Whose rants can be heard
Even on Christmas night!

Don't you just hate it when you've got your holiday spirit groovin' and then, out of the blue, you have to deal with some asshole that tries to throw a roadblock in your day? You shake it off as best as you can as you continue on your merry little way. fa-la-la-la-la. You know what I'm talking about, don't you? No?

Well, here's the perfect example. Dufus!

Yesterday my post was all set up and ready to go until I popped in over at Humor Bloggers Dot Com and saw that nonamedufus had written a similar post. I was exasperated! Damn those stupid time zones!!! Yeah, he scooped me.

So, I thought, "Ah-a, I'll just set up a series for most of the month". Scoop that, Mr. Moosehead swilling, plaid wearing, humur-huggy blogger. Little did I know, this has started a war. No, not that kind of war; besides, if the USA was at war with Canada, those Ca-nucks would scurry off and huddle in their little igloos and occasionally throw a snowball at us until the Queen tells them it's okay to come out of hiding. I'm talking about a war of wits!

This morning, before I started this post, I popped over to Dufus' blog and found that he had retaliated with an attempt to scoop me in his rendition of The First Day of Christmas? What is this?!? Roadblock, roadblock! I don't think I can take much more of this crap! His condescending tone as he thanks me for his inspiration is.....hilarious! In fact, the whole post is hilarious. You really must pop over to give this one a read.

Even though I had to re-write my entire post, this was no more than a mere pothole that I've managed to detour.



  1. Oh, touchy, touchy. I didn't see this earlier 'cause I was oot and a-boot visiting with my neighbo"u"rs, having a Tim Bit and a large double-double. After all I posted my little masterpiece hours ago as I live in the civilized part of the hemisphere. Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to tick you off. Sorry, sorry there my American friend. Oh, and thanks so much for the two-day shout out. We really are a nice lot up here, don't you think? Sorry, eh.

  2. You know what's so hilarious about all this?

    That I'm NOT involved.

    For once.

    I'm laying low.

    And yes, it is about ME ME!

    Get it?



  3. Don't worry. I think he's probably starting to suffer from a lack of sunlight way up there in the Great White North.

    Keep up the spirit!


  4. @ Dufus - Dear, dear, Dufus. I'm not touchy, I'm not even ticked. After all, your entire post is a promotional piece for my blog......see, my plan is working. Bwahahahaha! Oh, wait a minute....damn! I get it now! Damn!

    @ Quirky - Don't stand too close or you could be targeted next. Be afraid, be very afraid! Ha-ha!

  5. @ Geek Girl - Thank you for your encouragement and support. I was ready to dump this whole idea of the ABC's until I read your comment yesterday...thanks, again!

  6. I have to say that I love this little fight you two have, and I haven't gone to visit him and now I have to!

  7. I would strongly advise against starting a war with Canada. Our soldier is well trained and really fierce. Unfortunately, he's over in Afghanistan at the moment, so if you wouldn't mind holding off attacking Canada until he comes back in 2011 that would be greatly appreciated.


    Oh, if you want to attack in the winter you don't have to wait that long. Your army will freeze long before it gets over the border.

  8. Hey, I'm also enjoying my non-involvement! And I'm both Canadian and American (dual citizen, eh?) so one cancels the other out. Right?

    Right! Anyway I saw your post first Margo, so that's one for you right there :)

  9. A is for Asshole... like the people shoving each other during Black Friday?
    Oh what fun it is to watch you and Dufus sling mud at each other and laughing all the way.. ho, ho, ho!

  10. @ Lee - You must, you must! His post today is funny as shit!

    @ Joel - So, y'all sent the abdominal snowman to Afghanistan? Won't he melt before he returns? Probably. Then I declare victory over Canada!!!

  11. @ Lidian - Thanks! You know, it's like grade school when someone hits you it really means they like you - I love my Dufus (and Canada too)!

    @ Cat Lady - Now, that's the spirit! Or was that just the medication talking?

  12. Ok, now I've the damn song in my head - Huh ---WAR, What is Good for - absolutely nuthin! Maybe you need the video of that song playin here. Just write your schtick MeMe as only YOU can! I've been copied and had stuff stolen a lot - people desperately steal from genius! haha

  13. Well this feud is providing the rest of us plenty of entertainment. I went to visit as well and laughed through both of them
    If it comes down to it I bet you can take him!

  14. Poor dufus and now Joel has stepped forward to defend his countryman. What the hell have you done? Let us lose in Afghanistan before we lose to Canada will ya?

  15. Funny! I will go take a look!

  16. Again, Christmas gets all the good blog fights. Nobody rushing to outdo each other re; the 8 days of Chanukah. What a gyp.

  17. I'll go over there but I have to grab my white flag of peace first.

  18. Dufus steals all of his shit from other bloggers. He's Canadian, what can you say.

  19. Great idea, Me-Me! And you get 26 letters while Dufus only gets 12 days.

    Knock yourself out.

    But I'm gonna scoop you on this one. F is for Fruitcake.


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