Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
The Church Of The Sub-Genius
The Church of the Sub-Genius is a mutant offshoot of Discordianism launched in 1981 as a spoof of fundamentalist Christianity led by the 'Reverend' Ivan Stang, a brilliant satirist with a gift for promotion. Popular among hackers as a rich source of bizarre imagery and references such as "Bob Dobbs" the divine drilling-equipment salesman, the Benevolent Space Xists, and the Stark Fist of Removal. Much Sub-Genius theory is concerned with the acquisition of the mystical substance or quality of 'slack'.The essence of 'slack' it a state of laziness, the absence of work or thought. Or, as it has been described, to be a divine state of infinite mental inactivity, right up there with hibernation, or the concept of nirvana. In the church of the sub-geniustrue 'slack' is the ultimate goal and surpasses any pleasure of the flesh or mind. "Praise Bob!"
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Wacky Wednesday! Offbeat Headlines
Monty Python Classic - Best Funeral Song
Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life, the classic Monty Python song, has been named the best "alternative" funeral song. The cheery tune from The Life Of Brian film beat competition from The Jam’s Going Underground and The Animals’ We Gotta Get Out Of This Place.
Sasha and Malia Obama Beanie Babies
The company that makes the popular Beanie Babies is hoping for two more big winners with dolls named "Sweet Sasha" and "Marvelous Malia." But, no, the names do not refer to President Barack Obama's daughters, a Ty Inc. spokeswoman says. Honest!
Star Trek Creator, Wife Headed For Space
Ashes of Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry and his actress wife will blast toward the far reaches of the cosmos in keeping with the show's famed opening line: "Space, the final frontier."
Majel Roddenberry died in December, two months before her 77th birthday, and will posthumously fulfill a "dream of journeying through space with her husband," according to Celestis Inc, the US company behind the memorial flight.
Majel Roddenberry died in December, two months before her 77th birthday, and will posthumously fulfill a "dream of journeying through space with her husband," according to Celestis Inc, the US company behind the memorial flight.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Quotable: Groucho Marx
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
Alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
I sent a wire, resigning from my club - I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Women should be obscene and not heard.
What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog.
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
I drink to make other people interesting.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
“Whadaya say girls? Are we all gonna get married?
“All of us? But that’s bigamy!”
“Yes, and it’s big-a-me too.”
A woman is an occasional pleasure, a cigar is always a smoke.
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be gald to make an exception.
Room service? Send up a larger room.
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
Alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
I sent a wire, resigning from my club - I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Women should be obscene and not heard.
What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog.
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
I drink to make other people interesting.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
“Whadaya say girls? Are we all gonna get married?
“All of us? But that’s bigamy!”
“Yes, and it’s big-a-me too.”
A woman is an occasional pleasure, a cigar is always a smoke.
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be gald to make an exception.
Room service? Send up a larger room.
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
Trailer Trash
You Know You're Trailer Trash If...
You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table infront of her kids.
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people".
You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey watch this!"
You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen start your engines."
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.
You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
Time for interactive fun! You know you're trailer trash if....
Post your addition to the list in "comments" below.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Wacky Wednesday! - The Chain Letter
Dear Friend,
This chain letter was started in Phoenix with the hope of bringing happiness to husbands across the country. Unlike most chain letters, this one does not cost any money and is guaranteed to work.
Simply send a copy of this letter to ten of your married friends who are equally unhappy. Then package-up your wife and send her to the man’s name that appears at the top of the list - don’t forget to add your name to the bottom of the list.
When your name reaches the top of the list, you will receive 32,127 women - some of them will be outstanding.
Have faith; please DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN. One poor fellow broke the chain and received his own wife back.
Sincerely,
A Helpful Friend
P. S. A close friend had received 714 women; however, he was buried yesterday – it was the first time he had a smile on his face in many years.
Friday, January 2, 2009
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