Quotables: Oscar Wilde

Known for his biting wit, flamboyant dress, and glittering conversation, Oscar Wilde became one of the most well-known personalities of his day. It was his only novel, "The Picture of Dorian Gray" - still widely read - that brought him more lasting recognition. He died destitute in Paris at the age of forty-six.

1. Genius is born -- not paid.

2. Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

3. Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

4. I can resist anything but temptation.

5. There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

6. Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.

7. Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives.

8. A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

9. Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.

10. I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.

11. Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

12. Life imitates art far more than art imitates Life.

13. To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.

14. We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

15. Women are made to be loved, not understood.

Quotable: Mel Brooks

Mel Brooks is a member of the short list of entertainers with the distinction of having won an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar and a Tony award. Three of his films (Blazing Saddles, The Producers and Young Frankenstein) ranked in the Top 20 on the American Film Institute's list of the Top 100 comedy films of all-time. --Wikipedia


1. Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.

2. I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.

3. If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country.

4. If you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful and lively.

5. Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you.

6. Hope for the best, expect the worst. Life is a play. We're unrehearsed.

7. He who hesitates is poor.

8. If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.

9. Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

10. Rhetoric does not get you anywhere, because Hitler and Mussolini are just as good at rhetoric. But if you can bring these people down with comedy, they stand no chance.

Quotable: W. C. Fields

Fields’s screen character was often fond of alcohol and this trait has become part of the Fields legend. In his younger days as a juggler, Fields himself never drank, because he didn’t want to impair his functions while performing. The loneliness of his constant touring and traveling, however, compelled Fields to keep liquor on hand for fellow performers, so he could invite them to his dressing room for companionship and cocktails. Only then did Fields cultivate a fondness for alcohol. ---Wikipedia

1. I can't stand water because of the things fish do in it.

2. I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

3. No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

4. If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

5. Never give a sucker an even break.

6. Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

7. There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.

8. Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.

9. A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

10. Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.

11. Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

12. Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.

13. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

Quotable: Thanksgiving Day

1. What is Thanksgiving? Family, turkey dinner and dress rehearsal for Christmas. - Unknown

2. I love Thanksgiving turkey... it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

3. Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. - Erma Bombeck

4. Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year. - PJ O'Rourke

5. We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin

6. I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. - Jon Stewart

Who's talking dirty? Listen carefully this Thanksgiving.....

1. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.

2. Just lay back and take it easy--I'll do the rest."

3. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!

4. How long will it take after you stick it in?

5. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

6. Just reach in and grab the giblets.

7. Whew...that's one terrific spread!

8. I am in the mood for a little dark meat.

9. Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist.

10. And he forces his way into the end zone!

Quotable: Abbie Hoffman

This is a part of the series of the HBDC Anti-Injustice Campaign.

1. The '60s are gone, dope will never be as cheap, sex never as free, and the rock and roll never as great.

2. Expedience, not justice, is the rule of contemporary American law.

3. Free speech means the right to shout 'theater' in a crowded fire.

4. I believe in compulsory cannibalism. If people were forced to eat what they killed, there would be no more wars.

5. I was probably the only revolutionary referred to as cute.

6. Sacred cows make the tastiest hamburger.

7. The best way to educate oneself is to become part of the revolution.

8. It's embarrassing when you try to overthrow the government and you wind up on the Best Seller's List.

9. All you kiddies remember to lay off the needle drugs, the only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.

10. Wake Up America!

Quotable: Woody Allen

1. Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

2. I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

3. I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.'

4. In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

5. It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

6. It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

7. Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

8. Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

9. To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

10. What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

11. When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

12. Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

13. It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.