Saturday, May 30, 2009

Pick Up Lines To Get To Your Big, Fat Redneck Wedding

Yea! It's Saturday! Tonight I'll be watching one of my favorite programs, My Big, Fat Redneck Wedding. Have you ever wondered what leads to these people gettin' hitched in the first place? Most of the blessed couples have already been married 3-4 times, why take the plunge again? You also wonder what kind of finessing had to have taken place. Well, I just may have the inside scoop on this phenomenon - redneck pick up lines. 

1. Did you fart? Cuz you just blew me away.

2. My love fer you is like diarrhea, I can't hold it in.

3. Do you have a library card? Cuz I'd love to check you out.

4. Is there a mirror in your pants? Cuz I can see myself in 'em.

5. You might not be the best lookin' girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

6. Fat penguin.....sorry, I just wanted something to break the ice.

7. I know I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make yer bed-rock.

8. I can't find my monkey, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

9. Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

10. If yer gunna regret this in the mornin', we kin sleep 'til afternoon.

And, the best fer last.....

11. Yer face reminds me of a wrench. Every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up.

Don't forget to make your way over to Me-Me's Playhouse for another installment of "Caption This!". You have until midnight Sunday to submit your captions. 


7 comments:

  1. i like its,really nice post..!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, wow, this was freaking' hysterical! My personal favorite is "Beauty is only a light switch away."

    Awesomeness, Me-Me!

    ReplyDelete
  3. @ along2481 - Hey, thanks for stopping by. Would love to see you here again.

    @ Chris - Why thank you, Chris! Being from Arkansas originally, it really wasn't that much of a stretch.

    @ bARE-eYED-sUN - Hi ero, thanks for stopping by again today!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hell. I thought that was the way it was done. Maybe that's one of the reasons I cain't git no date out.

    ReplyDelete
  5. @ Don - Ahem.....probably not.

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  6. These lines are hilarious!
    :)

    Who wants more?

    Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
    Are you smoking? (No!) Oh, yes you are!
    Hey I just realized this, but you look a lot like my next girlfriend.
    You've been a bad girl. Go to my room.
    You look like my third wife! (How many have you had?) Two.
    Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap hotel room across the street.
    Was your father an alien? Cos honey on planet earth there's nothing else like you!
    Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
    I know I'm not a grocery item but I can tell when you're checking me out.
    Do you mind if I hang out here until its safe back where I farted?

    For more you're more than welcome to check out http://www.funny-pick-up-lines.com

    :)

    ReplyDelete

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