What in the hell has happened to me? When did the simplest of tasks become so arduous? When did preparing for house guests become such a nightmare? I admit my age and have always felt that I was accomplishing more than my mother did at this age, but what the bloody hell? It's like I woke up this morning and I had aged at least 10 years over night.
Now, who moved the bathroom? I counted my shuffles, that was at least 20 too many. The good news is, I made it! And, thank goodness, I have a high-boy toilet or I may have wished I had Life Alert. Which, in light of my onset of elders, might not be a bad idea.
I have three days to get it together so I can welcome my guests with a smile and give the appearance that my preparations were done effortlessly. This weekend I completed two extensive shopping trips and one trip to the laundromat with all the bedding and rugs. Discovering my strength isn't what it used to be, I have decided I need a wagon or a forklift for future loading and unloading. At the grocery store the checkout guy asked me if I needed help out. I asked him if it would be possible if that person could come home with me to unload. He gave me one of those are-you-serious looks and that's when I assured him I would bring them back to the store right away. Well, I tried.
I am running out of time. I need a shot of something or helping hands, whichever is the most effective. Or maybe, just maybe, I will remind myself Rome wasn't built in a day and pry my tired old butt from this chair.
Music...that's what I need! Something fast paced, something that will put a little pep in my step to help me dance through all of this. Yep, I will put aside the old folks boogie for now and I will definitely rock this joint!
We interrupt our regularly scheduled program for this important weather update...it's raining! Nearly three inches of rain will be possible in some Valley locations through the weekend. Since Thursday night, Phoenix has received just under two inches of rain and more is expected today and tomorrow. Experts are reporting this is the most rainfall the Valley has received at one time in 10 years. Get the boat!
Now, on with the show.....
Thank you all for playing Caption This! I would like to acknowledge a couple of most-honorable mentions for their most-excellent entries.....
Junknista got her motor runnin' with this caption - "Michael loved choppers so much he decided to pay homage to them by growing handlebars on his face."
Shawn had this to say - "At first Doug didn't like his mustache, but after awhile it kind of grew on him."
This week's winner is long-time blogger Angel from Ramblings of a Southern Angel. Congratulations, Angel, your entry has earned you The Golden Phallus!
"Baby since you like the gorilla bars on the bike so much
I grew a set for you to hang onto...on the bike and you know
any other time you feel like I need steering guidance."
Thanks again for playing and I hope to see you all again on Wednesday for another edition of Caption This! In the meantime, I'm rollin' up my pant legs and heading to the store for supplies. Ciao!
It's happened to everyone of us, to men and women alike. An injustice we probably have experienced more than once in our lives. It's regrettable. It's embarrassing. It makes you want to hide, lie to your friends and even take a sick day.
What is this injustice?
The bad haircut!
We make the appointment or walk-in on a whim. We take a seat in a chair similar to the chair at the dentist's office. We are at the mercy of a man or woman with a pair of scissors. They spin you around to where you cannot see. Snip, snip here - snip, snip there. You watch what was to be "only a trim" fall onto the floor. You wait with nervous anticipation.
You are at the hands of someone that may be having a bad day. Or they could have some weird perception of what really looks good on top of your head. You cringe as they gasp under their breath. More hair seems to fall onto the floor than you had expressed in an attempt to cover up the mistake. You begin to rationalize.
They begin to style your new cut. Loads of different products are applied which smell great individually, but now your hair smells like a rotting fruit salad. They comb, blow-dry, brush, and curl. They get front and center, the last lock is in place. Finally, the finishing spray.
Just before they spin you around, you're aware of other stylists and patrons trying not to notice. Your heart starts to beat faster, your breath is short. It's like coming up on a car accident. You know you shouldn't look, but this time - it's you. Then you hear those words, "So how do you like it?"
Your eyes widen, you squirm in your seat. You even lean forward to take a closer look. You look at yourself at different angles. The mirror is held for you to take a look at the back of your head. As you try to compose yourself, you smile nervously, then you answer, "It's okay, it's fine". But, what you are really thinking is, "Shit!, I look like Kate Gosselin".
The plastic cape, that holds what used to be your hair, is removed. Your reach for your wallet remembering that their scissors are still within reach. Your hand over their fee plus you even give them a tip. You walk quickly to your car and stare at yourself in the rear view mirror. You sigh, choke back the tears and try to calm yourself by thinking, "It'll grow back, it's only hair."
Thanksgiving is just 12 days away! I am really looking forward to my son and his family visiting me during that time. It's been a long time since I have hosted a holiday feast in my home and my emotions are running from one end of the spectrum to the other. I am extremely excited to have my family here one minute and the next minute I'm having anxiety over preparing the meal.
One thing is for sure.....music. I love to cook (and clean) to music. My foot starts tappin', my fingers are snappin' and I'm chop, chop, choppin' to the beat. Next thing I know, everything is plated and it's time to sit down and eat.
While looking for some Thanksgiving music suggestions today, I ran across this handy playlist on Pinterest. Not only does it have a section for while in the kitchen, it also has a section for at the table. Cool!
Although this playlist has a wide variety of selections, there are two songs in particular that didn't make the list that are absolute Thanksgiving favorites of mine --Adam Sandler's Thanksgiving Song and Arlo Guthrie's Alice's Restaurant which I have posted below.
What are you favorite music selections for Thanksgiving? I'd love to get your input for my official playlist. In the meantime, I'll just keep calm and sing along!
Hello everyone and welcome back to Me-Me's Playhouse and thank you all for playing Caption This! This week's photo was an awkward family of sisters posing with their favorite things. The family pets, I get that, but the ventriloquist doll....weird.
There are a few standout captions I'd like to give a most-honorable mention.....
Agent 45, Timothy Hecht, was stylin' with his caption. - "Dad always had the best hair of everyone in the whole family."
Shawn - "Perhaps they were all in denial, but no one wanted to admit what the all knew to be true. Woody was adopted."
Reforming Geek certainly has an eye for photography - "Ok, everyone, big smiles and don't blink.! Ok, Victor, very funny."
Caption master, Dufus, took this photo to a whole nother level - "You'd be bug-eyed too if someone was always sticking their hand up your ass."
The winner this week is a long-time blogger, author and frequent player here in the playhouse...Mike over at The Wizardry of Otin. If you have never visited The Wizard, please stop by his place and say, "howdy". Congratulations, Mike, you take home the coveted Golden Phallus!
"Pinocchio stars in his first porn film -- Big Hair Gives Me Wood"
Thanks again for playing and I hope to see you all here again next week! Have a great weekend everyone! Peace out.
It's official, my sister has lost her ever lovin', pea pickin' mind! Yes, I said pea pickin', it's a Southern endearment. Usually, when our loved ones reach this level of crazy is when we give them a cocktail and parade them out onto the front porch for all to see. This is exactly where you will find my sister today, kickin' it on the porch sippin' her mint julep.
Shortly after this past Tuesday's elimination show of The Voice, my sister, Joy, sent me a text about the show.
Joy: You watch The Voice?
Me: Yes, not tonight though, who was sent home?
Joy: Josh and Johnny! I was pulling for Josh....even signed up with Twitter so I could send in a "save" vote. I'm sad....so now I will pull for Will.
Bless her heart, she even got herself a Twitter account to save her guy.
Me: Oh, good, my pick is still in the running!
Me: I want the Jamaican chick to win.
Joy: What does she look like?
Me: Tall, Asian-looking, short hair, Adam's team.
Joy: She was eliminated last time.
Me: No, she sang last night. She's a back up singer for Jimmy Cliff.
Joy: Light or dark complexion?
Me: She is from Jamaica, is tall, short hair, has the best voice on the whole show. She has a light complexion, an Asian mix. Dresses very nice. Adam's team.
Joy: I'm confused Lawdy, I'll say.
Joy: Ok...yeah, I know the one....thick with lighter skin...the only girl left on his team. Finally!
Me: Right, she is a professional singer.
Joy: Ok....I don't like her. You need to pick someone else. Wait, what? You want me to do what?
Me:Nope! My pick is gonna win!!! Not Will the wuss.
Joy: He is precious and plays instruments! Your woman is unattractive...pick another. *rolls eyes*
Me: Wow, I didn't realize you are so superficial.
Joy: Her face and big legs will not sell albums. The young cute blonde with the different sweet voice will be the one to win.
Me: Tell that to Aretha Franklin.
Joy: Motown had only a few to choose from back then. What are you saying, are you crazy?
Me: Shut the fuck up!
Joy: It's a tough market out there now a days. Now, she's a record promoter, egads.
Me: Competing with GaGa, Katie Perry and Miley....yeah, real tough.
Joy: Bwahahahahahaha! U shut the fuck up, chicken butt!
At that point, I had had enough texting back in forth for one night, so we signed off. Whew!
Now, all I am asking you to do is to just take a quick listen to Joy's pick, Will Champlin and then to mine, Tessanne Chin. You decide, are you Team Joy or Team Me-Me?
During my sabbatical, I discovered many new things on the internet to occupy my time. Things which didn't take much of a commitment, things that did require gifting, helping or acquiring elements in order to conquer a challenge and things which required little or no social interaction so I could continue to perfect my life as a hermit. One of those things led me to electronic hoarding. Yes, I discovered the wonderful world of Pinterest and, now, I am a pinaholic!
What a magical place. It's quite beautiful there and very peaceful. Pinterest takes you to faraway lands where you can experience their colorful cultures and breathtaking landscapes. I have many many homes which are perfectly decorated and full of art by the masters. Then there is the garage which holds the most expensive cars, the fastest motorcycles and every kind of boat imaginable. Not to mention my closet rivals no one, every piece is custom selected for me. Yes, life is fabulous in the land of Pinterest.
To be honest, it's not really all sunshine, rose gardens and gingham curtains. Like the recipes that will never see the light of my kitchen and DIY and craft projects that will never get past a materials list. There have been many of these recipes and projects attempted by other pinners which have ended in a big fat FAIL. Here's a sample of those who have ventured where I dare not go....Pinterest Hell!
To see more of these failed attempts go to Craft Fail!
Since returning to blogging, I have created a Pinterest Board called Blog About to promote my blog as well as others. Please leave a link to your latest post in the comments today and I will pin it for my 6200+ followers to see and hopefully they will stop by for a visit.
By the way, to take a look at my Pinterest account or to follow me, just click the red P on the left sidebar. You, too, could become addicted!
So sorry for the delay in posting the winner of Caption This!, but I have been under the weather with a head and chest cold which has had me feeling pretty poorly. However, after a double-round of Nyquil and copious amounts of Ibuprofen, I am feeling much better.
Before we get to the winner, I must give credit to a couple of most-honorable mentions for their fine entries.
Indigo Roth may have found his match with his caption, "After several years of the single life, Roth finally lands a date with not just ONE beautiful woman, but TWINS! Things are looking up!"
Chelle Blogger also stopped by and left this caption, "Hugh Hefner is so old he doesn't even notice if his live-in girlfriends have penises anymore."
This week's winner is no stranger to captioning, in fact, he runs his own caption contest each week. So, be sure to stop by his place on Wednesday to play Pause, Ponder and Pun. Stand up and take a bowDufus, you are this week's recipient of The Golden Phallus! Congratulations!
"Damn, Sam, you really should have called me this morning to tell me what you were
wearing to the Gay Pride Parade today. Now I'm so embarrassed, you silly you."
Thank you all for playing and I really hope to see you again on Wednesday for another edition of Caption This! Have a great week everyone!
Years ago when dog apparel first became popular, I was surprised by the number of companies who offered online catalogs of all kinds of doggie ensembles for all kinds of occasions. And, of course, the pet specialty and big box stores also had racks and racks of clothing for any type and size dog.
I really never considered buying clothing for my dog. Just wrestling my 135 pound Akita into a cammo hoodie or an evening jacket complete with bow tie would have probably qualified us as winners of American's Funniest Home Videos.
The thing that really got me the most was the indignant look on most of the models' faces...like the one pictured here in a Superman costume. Look at his face! He's sitting there so obedient and hating every minute of it. He doesn't care how many rewards he'll receive, he just wants out of that thing.
Honestly, I would laugh and laugh and laugh so much that perusing these websites became a favorite pastime. Yeah, doggie porn, I guess. I found these pooches' attitudes in their designer outfits absolutely hilarious.
Don't get me wrong, I have seen many cute little dogs who were freshly groomed and dressed to the nines --they looked darling. But, truth be told, they'd rather be rolling around in the dirt trying to get out of that fru-fru outfit and pick up some odors that are far more disgusting. Let's face it, they are ashamed to be seen around the dog park looking like a model from Dogue.
Now, my attention has shifted somewhat. My latest fascination is with dog shaming. If you are a dog owner, you understand how dogs can be rather destructive. One day I came home and discovered my 6 month old Chi-mix had escaped from her puppy playpen and had made an igloo for herself in one of the arms of the sofa. I paused, called out her name, then she wiggle out with her tail wagging. What do you do? Well, all you can do is clean up the mess and throw a blanket over the hole with hopes no one will notice. And, you might consider getting an escape proof kennel.
I'm sure some of you have seen the website, Dog Shaming. Dog owners send photos of their best friends announcing to the world their pet's latest indiscretion usually by wearing a sign. Kind of like that kid who recently was forced to wear a sign into Walmart for all to see he was a liar. As a dog owner, I can totally relate to most of these circumstances and the frustrations and this may be an option for me in the future. So, without further ado, I have chosen a few of my favorites from the website to share with you today.
I broke 2 ceramic bowls, 1 ceramic plate.
I ate 1 fleece jacket, 1 raincoat, 1 Playstation controller, countless rolls of Charmin,
1 pair of headphones, 1 iPhone cover, tube of chapstick , 1 rug, 2 dog beds, 1 sneaker,
part of a laptop, 2 pairs of prescription eyeglasses, & 2 pairs reading glasses.
Plus, I left a log on the steps and my dad fell and broke his foot!
His buddy says, "I watched."
I eat crayons and poop rainbows.
Luki: I scared mommy thinking I would get lost & made her
chase me through the woods while I chased the deer.
I am a deer chasing jerk.
Pepper: I was good and came when called!!
I tried to hump the vacuum and I broke it.
(I'm not sorry.)
I ate the couch.
I eat poop out of diapers.
I am disgusting.
If you get the chance, pop on over to Dog Shaming for more laughs.
Well, here we are again, it's time to announce this week's winner of Caption This! Before we get to that, I would take this opportunity to thank you all for playing. I really appreciate each and every entry.
I would like to acknowledge a couple of most-honorable mentions.....
laughingmom over at Where's the Funny Here? said, "Everyone playing poker hopes that the mask is the LAST thing that Griselda removes."
nonamedufus had a clever entry, "Hannibal Lecter's wife, Annibelle, passes the time playing poker while awaiting her husband's release from prison. Little known fact: Annibelle invented what's come to be known as the 'poker face'."
This week's winner is none other than that beautiful and crazy woman who pulls us Humor Bloggers together, Chelle Blogger! What a week she is having, it's also her birthday! You can find Chelle at one of her two blogs, The Offended Blogger or Scattered Among the Leaves. Congratulations, Chelle, you take home the coveted Golden Phallus!
"Marge decided to wear the latest invention engineered
to guard off drunken opponents who insisted that the
term'poker face' actually meant 'poker her face'."
Thanks again for playing and I hope to see you all next Wednesday for another edition of Me-Me's Playhouse: Caption This!
Dia de los Muertos or Day of the Dead is a popular holiday celebrated the day after Halloween throughout Mexico and in other parts of the world. This day is for remembering the friends and family members who have passed on to the spirit world.
Here in the desert southwest, with a history rich in the Mexican heritage, it's not surprising there are lots of fun festivals, art exhibits and music events celebrating this special holiday over the next two days. I am looking forward to attending a couple of events myself.
I have found a wonderful short film which happens to be the 2013 Student Academy Award Gold Medal winner in CGI animation. Beautifully animated, it is a heartfelt story about a little girl who visits the land of the dead and learns the true meaning of this special day. It truly captures the essence of Dia de los Muertos perfectly. Enjoy!
Reminder: you have until midnight tonight to enter Caption This!
Your eyes widen, you squirm in your seat. You even lean forward to take a closer look. You look at yourself at different angles. The mirror is held for you to take a look at the back of your head. As you try to compose yourself, you smile nervously, then you answer, "It's okay, it's fine". But, what you are really thinking is, "Shit!, I look like Kate Gosselin".
Thanksgiving is just 12 days away! I am really looking forward to my son and his family visiting me during that time. It's been a long time since I have hosted a holiday feast in my home and my emotions are running from one end of the spectrum to the other. I am extremely excited to have my family here one minute and the next minute I'm having anxiety over preparing the meal.
