Showing posts with label Humor Bloggers Dot Com. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor Bloggers Dot Com. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Me-Me's Playhouse: Caption This! No. 41


Yipeee, tomorrow is Halloween! Spooks, ghouls, super heroes and a princess or two will line the streets in search of tasty treats or brains, if they happen to be zombies. For this special edition of Caption This!, I have chosen a photo in honor of All Hallows Eve.

Caption This! photo in the comment section below, you may enter as often as you like --contest ends Friday at midnight. Then return here on Saturday when the winner will be announced. The winner, of course, takes home the lovely Golden Phallus.  Good luck and happy captioning!






Once you are done here, please stop by Dufus' and Chelle's places for more captioning fun! 

I hope you all have a safe and happy Halloween.



Sunday, October 27, 2013

Halloween Costumes Part II: Ninja




Kids today have it made when it comes to selecting cool Halloween costumes.  There are so many to choose from --Star Wars characters, super heroes, Lego people and realistic monsters and freaks of all types. 

If I were going door-to-door trick or treating, I would choose to be a ninja. Ninjas are brave martial arts masters and possess strategic knowledge which is way superior to anyone else walking the planet. They are in perpetual stealth mode which allows them to make their strikes totally undetected.  

Ninja assassin fashion is your basic black garb which portrays that sense of invisibility. Plus, they have the coolest accessories like stars, claws, swords and smoke bombs.  Unfortunately, ninja warriors have been over-commercialized and the prepackaged costumes have strayed far from the traditional ninja uniform.  

Below is an interesting critique from a real ninja of a kid's ninja costume which can be purchased online or from a big box store.   




*knock, knock, knock* 

"Trick or Treat!"

You didn't see me did you?

I am a ninja!



Monday, October 21, 2013

Halloween Costumes Part I: Men

Humor Bloggers Dot Com Halloween Spooktacular

Remember when having the coolest Halloween costume on the block was the best thing that could happen to you for the entire year? Except for maybe the off chance you received the coveted Schwinn Stingray Fastback bicycle for Christmas. Anyway, Halloween wasn't all about candy, it was having a costume everyone remembered and talked about and then having to only outdo yourself the next year.  


As a kid, costumes were pretty gender specific and the boys had the best choices for costumes --Popeye, The Beatles, Batman, Space Ghost. There were Halloween parties where we voted by a show of hands. The prize was usually an extra special treat for your bag and, of course, bragging rights.


Today, as adults, the drive is still there for some to outdo everyone with their costume, hell, they might even win a huge cash prize. So, I have found some costumes for men which may not earn them the big prize money, but they will definitely be remembered around the water cooler the next morning. Turn on your speakers and enjoy the slideshow!

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Sunday, October 20, 2013

Humor Bloggers Dot Com: Halloween Spooktacular




You Are Invited! 
HumorBloggersDotCom
Spooktacular Blog Party
Oct. 21st - Nov. 1st


Be there, if you dare!
Bwahahahaha

Monday, November 30, 2009

Stupid Time Zones!!!

Folks, I've have finally reached my limit! Like a cartoon character, my eyes have shot out of my head and smoke is coming out of my ears. Ah-ooooo-ga!

Today is the final day of Humor Bloggers Dot Com Anti-Injustice Campaign. I had in mind exactly what I was going to write until I popped over there this morning to take a look at what the other members had posted. There it was at the top of the home page...The Last Injustice submitted by nonamedufus. Ah-ooooo-ga!

In his post, Dufus goes on-an-on about what a bunch of snot-nosed, punch line deprived brats we are. He whines how he took part in this injustice carnival as if he were the only one over there with a creative bone in his body and having the guts to participate for the entire month...so dutifully. Get this... then he takes the easy way out, he provides links to all of his related posts for the past month. Pffffft!

I hear you out there, "Why are your panties in a wad, MeMe?" I'll tell you why. I was going to write the same damn thing. But, now if I do, I'll be tagged as a copy-cat, a post stealer or worse...just another dumb blond.

So, what's my rant? Time zones!!!

You see, Dufus lives in the eastern part of Canada and he has at least a 3 hour jump on me. For all I know, they may have some special time zone up there in the great white north that may push him 4 or 5 hours ahead of me. In fact, I believe he just might write his posts the day before and schedules them to appear at 4:00 or 5:00 AM his time. That's 1:00 or 2:00 AM my time. Oh, the injustice!

Now, this has really got my brain turning this morning, not to mention having to stick my eye balls back into their sockets. And, all of this, without a full cup of coffee. I will not get up right after I've gone to bed just so I can beat everyone else to the punch. Time zones or not, I will not be scooped again!!! I will work smarter not harder.

Yeah you, Mr. Canadian bacon eating, smarty pants, humur-huggy blogger, you'll have to get up mighty early to scoop me again. My idea for the first 26 days of December is to present a letter of the alphabet each day - I'm calling this series The Fractured ABC's of Christmas. Scoop that!!!


Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Road Trip Travails

Several years ago I was traveling back to Arizona from Colorado when I noticed my gas gauge was fast approaching “the red zone” and so was my bladder. Unfortunately, I was in a part of the country where gas stations are few and far between. And, pulling to the side of the road was not an option as you’re winding through mountain passes.

It had come to the point where I was doing everything I could to distract myself from my immediate situation. Just how many verses does “She’ll Be Coming Around the Mountain” have? As I hit the flatland, I spied a gas station just up the road and bonus, the sign read, “Clean Restrooms”.

Thank goodness there was little traffic as I crossed to the other side of the highway to stake my claim at the pump. I quickly swiped my credit card, placed the nozzle in the tank and made my way to the restroom. Damn! The door was locked. Skipping my way back to the island-cashier, I asked for the key. She opened the door to her bulletproofed domain and handed me a bright pink hula hoop with the key attached. What the.....? This was definitely a first.

Feeling somewhat embarrassed, again I’m skipping to make my way to relieve myself of an uncomfortable situation. I placed the key in the door, opened it and flipped on the light. Horror or all horrors – no toilet paper! Okay, back to the booth to ask for toilet paper. For some reason or another, the lady in the booth seemed to be put out with me as I made my request. Through the money slot, she slipped me four; four mind you, sections of toilet paper. Where's the justice? No time to argue, I’m back to the rest room with hula hoop and toilet paper in hand.

I entered the restroom and, as I was assessing the toilet seat, I discovered a small packet of Kleenex in my backpack. Yeah, I can cover the seat and will have plenty to spare. Ahhhhh. I washed my hands, grabbed the hula hoop and strolled back to my truck. I threw out some soda cans, the remainder of the three-day old bag of Cheetos and a banana peel. I then returned the nozzle to the pump.

I approached the booth to ask for my receipt and to return the restroom key. She opened the door for me to slip the hula hoop through and, back at her window, she slipped me the receipt through the cash slot. I’m telling you, she was not the friendliest person I’ve ever encountered. I walked a few steps towards my truck, reached into my pocket and tore off two of the sections the toilet paper I’d been given. I then pivoted to return to the booth.

I had to wait for her to finish her phone conversation. As she hung up the phone, she looked over her glasses at me and questioned, “Yeeessss?” I slipped the two sections back through the money slot and proudly stated, “Thanks, but I didn’t need all of this.” Back on the road again, I had to smile.


Yes, there are many injustices in this world, click over to
Humor Bloggers Dot Com to read more.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Defenders Of Justice

During the month of November, Humor Bloggers Dot Com will take on all the injustice that plagues the world. Why? Because no one else cares!!

To kick off this campaign, I have made a video which features these defenders of justice - the few, the proud, the super heroes of the revolution.

As you watch, make note of these brave women and men that will do battle against injustice this month. And, please, support their efforts.



Saturday, October 31, 2009

Me-Me's Playhouse: Trick or Treat!

Happy Halloween! I hope you all have enjoyed this special week of haunting the Halloween Humor Carnival over at Humor Bloggers Dot com.

There were over 30 knocks at my door this week from those looking for me to drop The Golden Phallus into their goody bag. Thank you all for stopping by and thanks for not soaping up my windows.

The Three Stooges (aka The Impartial Panel of Three) have handed out special treats to the following tricksters.....

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

Getting ready for the WWF, Fred gave Thelma some last minute tips. "Stay off the ropes!"

renalfailure said...

Nobody remembers "Dirty Dancing" in its original Greek tragedy form... and for good reason.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

Lanny Lederhosen felt a sudden and inexplicable attraction to the Norse Cougar.

Unfinished Rambler said...

"Spartacus?"

"Maid Marian?"


The winner of the coveted trophy goes to that midget man of steel, moooooog! Stand up and take a bow, moooooog.....oops, you are standing. If you've never visited the master of mental poo and the undisputed worldwide authority on issues that affect short, middle-aged, undersexed men.....do so today!

Now, for the winning caption.....

Thankfully, mom and dad never really
left the house on laundry day.


Have a safe Halloween everyone.....see you next week!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Caption This! Halloween Edition

We've been having a great time this week over at Humor Bloggers Dot Com during The 2nd Annual Halloween Humor Carnival. I invite you all to click on over and join the fun. You are guaranteed to die laughing!

And, speaking of Humor Bloggers, there are several of us that join together each Wednesday asking our readers to Caption This! EttaRose, nonamedufus, The Soccer Mom and yours truly all post a photo that awaits your captions. It's fun! It's easy!

Wouldn't you like to take home The Golden Phallus? Then check back here Saturday when the decision of The Impartial Panel of Three is announced.



Tuesday, October 27, 2009

This Is Halloween

Today marks another day of The 2nd Annual Halloween Humor Carnival over at Humor Bloggers Dot Com. I was over there earlier and found a hilarious tribute to Halloween by nonamedufus. If you do nothing else today, it's well worth your time to pop over and read his hysterical poem, A Crappy Halloween.

Question: What do you get when you cross Tim Burton and Marilyn Manson?


Answer: I know, it boggles the mind with possibilities. But, what you get is an awesome cover of the classic Danny Elfman song, This is Halloween, from Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas. Manson covered the original in the remake for the 13th anniversary of this animated film. Both the music and the animation from this classic film will definitely put you in the mood for Halloween. It's a personal favorite of mine. And, believe it or not, it's a great one to share with the kids!



Monday, October 26, 2009

Photo Phantasms

In case you've been living under a rock, this is a very special week over at Humor Bloggers Dot Com. It's The 2nd Annual Halloween Humor Carnival where those mysterious and kooky humor bloggers are getting their spooky on. Join us.....if you dare!

No doubt, some of you people belong in a straight jacket. I could not believe all of your awesome submissions to Friday's Caption This! You really made it tough for The Impartial Panel of Three with almost 50 hilarious captions. Thank you all for playing!

The Panel has handed down their decisions with the following receiving most-honorable mentions.

Buggys said...

The day the rabbit had to die!

Joker_SATX said...

Finally, A Pic worthy of upload to Adult Friend Finder!

CatLadyLarew said...

Just shoot me now!

nonamedufus said...

Alas, Barry drew the short straw and it would be his buddy George who'd get to go to the costume party as Elmer Fudd.



There can only be one winner...The Golden Phallus goes to...MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings. Stand up and take a bow Mike! Mike's tag line is "some things are funnier than others" and that's why he is the recipient of The Golden Phallus. Be sure to add Too Many Mornings to your list of must reads.

Now, the winning caption.....


Bob found himself wondering what
traumatic event in his girlfriend's past
led her to this particular fantasy.


Okay,speaking of Humor Bloggers, I'm tired of being the odd-woman-out. Every Wednesday nonamedufus, EttaRose and the Soccer Mom all have their version of Caption This! No more Wacky Wednesday! for me - it's dead and buried.

I'll be joining the caption circuit each Wednesday with Me-Me's Playhouse: Caption This! So, mark your calendars for this week's special Halloween edition. See you then!


Sunday, October 25, 2009

Chillin' & Thrillin'

Today begins a week of chills and thrills over at Humor Bloggers Dot Com. Those zany writers have joined together to bring you The 2nd Annual Halloween Humor Carnival.

Click on over!


You'll find hilarious new Halloween posts every day from this awesome group of humor bloggers. Take a look at the video below for a compilation of those participating. I'm sure some of these blogs you are already familiar with and others may be new to you. So, be sure to join in on all the fun at Humor Bloggers Dot Com from now through Halloween.



Music: Toccata and Fugue performed by Rick Wakeman

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Virtual Road Trip: Phoenix Day 2

Good morning! I realize it's a bit early, but I promise you a full day of beauty and adventure. For those of you joining us on for the first time on the Humor Bloggers Virtual Road Trip, click here to catch up with the tour. Oh, and be sure to click on the links and photos for an in-depth look. 

Everyone on the bus? We've got a lot of territory to cover!

Today we are leaving the city and heading to the beautiful high-country of Arizona. The bus can only take us so far, so we're pulling over to switch our mode of travel, a Hummer caravan. This caravan will take us to our first few destinations.

Let's start the day by experiencing a real cowboy chuck wagon breakfast. Jeb and Zac have prepared us a wonderful meal here in the great outdoors: bacon, eggs, beans, biscuits and gravy and, of course, there's plenty of coffee and fresh squeezed orange juice. Pull up a boulder, take in the canyon scenery and enjoy the feast. 
 

Beano, anyone?

Now, back to the Hummers for our off-road adventure. We'll be climbing and winding our way through the canyons to an area that was once very important to Arizona gold mining, Crown King. A now-living ghost town, Crown King is situated in the Bradshaw Mountains and is surrounded by the Prescott National Forest which is 1.25 million acres of government land. The largest stand of Ponderosa pine on the planet starts here and for runs hundreds of miles. 

Hold on, everyone, this could be a treacherous ride!


I hope you folks don't mind taking the back roads this morning, but you'd miss this breath taking scenery from the freeway. Just an hour or so away we will be merging with the Mother Road, Route 66. This will take us to our next stop, Williams - the gateway to the Grand Canyon.

Here we are at the Grand Canyon Railway station. We'll be boarding the train real soon that will take us on a delightful 2-hour ride up to the Grand Canyon. Our champagne lunch will be severed in the dining car. There is an aspect of danger though! Remember how I suggested that you brush up on your skills at the shooting range yesterday? Well, the train we're riding today is a bait train, there's a likelihood that we may be robbed (watch it here). 

Hold on to your valuables and your virtue, these outlaws can be pretty rough!


Is everyone okay?

The train is slowing this time because we've arrived at our destination, the Grand Canyon National Park. Everyone, please choose a buddy for this segment of the tour. This steep gorge was carved by the Colorado River. It is 277 miles long and ranges in width from four to 18 miles with a depth of a mile. Isn't it beautiful? I've arranged for a guide to take us to a couple of the points of interest including the new Skywalk where you actually walk out over the canyon for a view 4,000 feet below. After we finish watching the IMAX film at the National Geographic center, we'll hop back on the bus for the last destination of our tour. 


Head count!

Our tour will end with one more spectacular site, Hoover Dam which sits on the border of Arizona and Nevada. We'll take a brief tour where we'll learn a lot of dam facts. Plus there's a dam gift shop where you'll find dam keychains, dam coffee mugs, dam bumper stickers and just about any-dam-thing you'd want.


Dam it!

Just 30 miles away is Las Vegas, baby! I'm going to leave you here so you can make your connection for the next leg of the trip. For the time you are here you can freshen up, have dinner on the strip, take in a show or try your luck at the tables.   


Thank you all for being a part of of the Humor Bloggers Virtual Road Trip, I do hope you enjoyed your time in Arizona. It's been my pleasure to host this portion of the trip and do come back to visit anytime.

VE will be your host for the next segment of the trip, I'm sure he has made many wonderful plans for you while in Oregon.

Adios!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Virtual Road Trip: Phoenix Day 1

Welcome to Phoenix, Arizona!!!

I am your host for this segment of The Virtual Road Trip. This trip across North America, and later across the big pond, is being brought to you by Humor Bloggers Dot Com. During our tour, please take the time to click the links for additional information and also click the photos for a closer look - I don't want you to miss a thing.


I trust you are finding your accommodations suitable here at the Wigwam Golf Resort and Spa. For those that would like to get in 9 holes this morning, I'm sure you'll find one of the three championship courses to your liking. And, for those that would prefer to relax in the plush surroundings of the 26,000 square feet spa, your massage will prepare you for our busy day ahead. 


Woo hoo, it's time to head 'em up and move 'em out little doggies. That's cowboy talk for "get on the bus, damn it". We're expecting the temperature to reach 100 degrees today. So, please keep yourself hydrated and be sure to wear sunscreen. 

Oh, Frank, ummmm...I dunno, long black socks with sandals?

Our first stop this morning is the Heard Museum. I never tire of visiting the Heard. This unique museum houses over 32,000 pieces of cultural and American Indian fine art. The Heard also hosts a number of events and festivals throughout the year such as the World Championship Hoop Dancing. This is a thrilling and colorful event; it's definitely a don't miss it if you find yourself back in this area next February.


Okay, for you sports enthusiasts, our next stop is the Chase Field ballpark, home of the 2001 World Series champions, the Arizona Diamondbacks.  The retractable roof is an awesome feature unique to this ballpark and allows for comfort regardless of the weather. Unfortunately, the D'backs are playing in Kansas City tonight, but we can watch the game on the big screen later this evening if you like. We Arizonans love our baseball!

Rambler, now THIS is the big league!


Anyone hungry? There's a taco stand not too far from the ballpark that I know you'll enjoy. You'll find a variety of south of the border treats here.  Carne asada (beef), carnitas (pork), fresh salsa and a refreshing rice water drink called "horchata". These are some of the local favorites on the menu. And, of course, there's plenty of ice cold Mexican beer. Grab a curbside table and take in the scenery. 


Now, where's Da Old Man? C'mon, pick up the shuffle, the bus is leaving!

I think a nice way to work off our lunch is with a leisurely stroll through the Desert Botanical Garden. Nestled in the red buttes of Papago Park, this 50-acre garden has one of the world's finest collections of desert plants. Don't worry, this stop isn't all about cacti, I've arranged to jazz things up a bit. There's a small pavilion at the end of one the trails where a jazz trio and dessert is waiting our arrival. Ahhh, can it get much better than this?    


Yes, Etta, there are more gift shops to come!

Our next destination is for the thrill seekers. We are going to make a quick stop at one of Phoenix's amusement parks, Castle N' Coasters. There are a number of roller coasters, water rides, miniature golf and carnival type games. I suggest you brush up on your skills at the shooting range, this might come in handy later in the trip.


Brookeamanda, you're looking a bit water-logged. Enjoyed yourself did ya?

Can I get a show of hands? How many were aware that architect Frank Lloyd Wright had a project here in Arizona? It's called Taliesin West which is located in the foothills of the McDowell Mountains and surrounded by the beautiful Sonoran Desert. This sprawling complex houses the FLW Foundation and the FLW School of Architecture. Our guide will give us all the fascinating facts of this living memorial to one of the greatest American icons.


Ready for our final stop of the day, Reforming Geek?

We are heading out to Pinnacle Peak Patio for a cowboy cookout and fiesta. I've reserved us a private spot on the desert to enjoy one of the fine steaks at this world's largest steakhouse. We will first be entertained by a Mariachi band and folklorico dancers. Then, for those that would like to strut your stuff on the dance floor, a cowboy band will finish tonight's line-up of entertainment.


Ladies and gentlemen, this concludes day one of our tour in Phoenix. When you arrive back at the resort, please take advantage of some of the amenities offered by this fine establishment. But, I do suggest you try to make it to bed early, we leave for some grand destinations very early in the morning.

I bid you a good-night.


Click here for day two.

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